I'm going to say it, babies aren't expensive, health care is expensive and day care is expensive. I've been thinking a lot about the things we have bought or received as gifts for our baby and all the stuff we ended up not needing. I have found that you don't need that much. Here is my review of a few products and some notes on things I've never used.
Items I use(d):
Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper:
I loved the idea of this thing, but when it came to actually using it, it didn't work out as well. At night, Cedric ended up in bed with us the vast majority of the time. It became a barrier to keep him from falling to the floor. For my next baby, I'm going to keep the mattress on the floor and co-sleep and set up the co-sleeper as a bassinet to use for naps during the day. The co-sleeper should not be used after the baby can pull himself to his knees, which for Cedric was at 5 months.
Changing pad and table:
I love this thing! We do not use a changing pad cover because we'd have to wash it daily. One mom said, "they are plastic for a reason!" We also use an IKEA dresser instead of an actual changing table. He can use this solid wood dresser for years to come. I know some moms change their baby anywhere, and I do sometimes, but I've found that diaper changes are way easier on the table, the pad keeps him from flipping over so much and he's up high so I can hold him better. I think this item is a must.
Mei Tai Carrier or other carrier that keeps baby upright and doesn't dangle him by the crotch:
I could not figure out slings, he seemed too long for them, they seemed to squish him and make him look uncomfortable. But I tried the mei tai and it worked great, as long as it wasn't too hot out. Stay away from Baby Bjorns that dangle baby from the crotch, they aren't good for baby's legs and just think about it, does it look right? A good carrier will make a seat for the baby. I also have an Ergo which is good, but I actually like the mei tai better and so does my husband. I've heard good things about the Becko too. I personally hate ring slings right now.
Stroller:
Firstly, I wanted one that his car seat did not snap into. I could see great potential for baby to be stuck in his car seat for an entire outing. Secondly, I wanted one that rear-faced so he could see me. And thirdly, I didn't want it to cost over $200. There weren't many options. I went with a Kolcraft Contours 3-Wheel Option. It's a little big, but fits into our hatchback and met the three requirements. Later we got a light weight Graco stroller for travel that does fit his car seat, which was helpful in the airports. But now he's outgrown his infant car seat so it's just a regular stroller. I love the stroller for extended outings and long walks. I've also used it as a shopping cart before he was able to sit up in the shopping cart seat. Never put your car seat in the shopping cart seat, it can fall out and makes the shopping cart more likely to tip over which can seriously injure or kill a baby.
Infant Bouncy Chair:
I was against this at first, but we bought one when he was just a couple weeks old. We needed a place to set baby that wasn't the floor. It was great during dinner, he joined us in his chair on kitchen floor. It was also hot when he was a newborn and I simply couldn't have him in a carrier for long periods. So he often sat in the infant chair when I did necessary things like brush my teeth and eat breakfast. It was also a way to keep him entertained but turned away from the TV when mom and dad had a show they wanted to watch. I don't know if infants are supposed to nap in these chairs, but he often fell asleep in his and had really good naps in them. By 5 months he could sit up on his own and we stored it in the basement.
High Chair:
Some people skip them, but I love it and baby does too. It's a great place to do baby-led solids. Wait until baby can sit up on his own to start solids. Do not feed a baby solids while they are tipped back, I do not know why some high chairs do this. We have a cheap, basic high chair from IKEA, it's all you need.
Items we never bothered getting:
Crib or toddler bed:
I said I would buy a crib when I felt we needed one and we still have not found a need for it yet. We bought him a twin mattress, money much better spent, he should be able to use it for years. When we feel ready to move him to his own room, we will buy a frame for it. I would have thought a crib would be essential. I figured we would eventually want to move him, but I honestly sleep better with him right next to me. Don't get me wrong, I slept better before I had kids, but I don't think it's the baby that really interferes, it's being a parent that interferes. The few times he's been on his own mattress, I find myself checking on him over and over again. When he's next to me I hear all his little noises that tell me he's fine and I can go right to sleep.
Swing:
I had so many people tell me that this was ESSENTIAL! But we didn't have space for it and I doubted that I wanted my baby comforted by a plastic machine, so we didn't get one and have never missed it.
Any other plastic baby entertainment thing the baby sits in:
Our baby played on the floor, and we found that a rug and a blanket and a few toys was really all you needed. We got a baby gym as a gift and he played with that on the floor, and we had a couple other mat things for tummy time that were also gifts, but we steered clear of things the baby was supposed to sit in (besides the infant chair). He started rolling at one month, so the floor was fun to him. I could lay him on his back and he'd smile up and me and wiggle and roll a bit. This is all he did for three and a half months, then he finally started reaching for toys and soon started to scoot. So by the time he would have even been ready for any plastic entertainment device, he was on the move and did not want to be contained.
Bottle sanitizer:
Our baby didn't even get a bottle until he was 5 weeks old. I also read that the best way to kill germs off dishes is to let them dry out over night. Germs dry up and die. I boiled my pumping stuff initially, but hot soapy water, rinsing well and drying overnight is what we use to clean all of our pumping and bottling supplies. So I opted instead for a bottle drying rack, which can hold all the pumping supplies and bottles we need for a day. Also, you are not supposed to use anti-bacterial soap on bottles or pumping supplies; I'm not a fan of anti-bacterial soap anyway, I think it's a big con and doesn't actually work any better than regular soap, plus it stinks badly, haven't you noticed that?
Formula:
"Not a drop," is what I declared when he was 3 days old, and so far that is true. I suspect he will make it the next few months without needing it either.
Baby food and baby food maker:
Another total con. I have come to learn that baby food is totally unnecessary. I've had a few posts about baby-led solids. It's going great, three months of solids and no baby purees!
Items I've used that I wish I hadn't:
Bumbo chair:
It now appears that there have been so many accidents with these chairs that they really should not be on the market. Babies have even been injured with Bumbos sitting on the floor. Luckily Cedric hated his Bumbo chair. He sat in it probably a total of 5 minutes and squirmed to get out each time. He was not a fan of being contained like that. He wanted to wiggle and explore.
Pacifier:
I actually have a love-hate relationship with the pacifier. It seemed so necessary when my overactive letdown made him not want to feed very well. But now I'm learning that I got pretty bad advice for my over-active let down and I could have done things differently to help him more. Pacifiers can interfere with breastfeeding and he started using one at 2 weeks old, way before we had a good breastfeeding relationship. It could have gone way differently. I actually really did not want to give him one and told people that he was too young. I wish I would have listened to my gut more. After a while I felt trapped by the pacifier because it seemed we needed to have one or he would scream. And I was worried about the cleanliness a bit, but honestly cared more about how distressed he was without it. I now only give it to him in the car. We've stopped night time use altogether. He uses it more when I'm away from him and he can't breastfeed. He also refuses any kind of pacifier except for the Advent Soothie. Next time I'm going to keep a couple pacifiers in the car and try to not use them at other times.
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