While I was pregnant one of the things people liked to tell me the most was about how much breastfeeding will help me lose the baby weight and how much breastfeeding didn't help them lose any baby weight.
There seem to be two different types of people, those where breastfeeding seems to suck fat right off of them, and those who see no effect at all. Luckily I was one of those people where the fat just seemed to slide off.
I'm now actually twelve pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. And I gained 55 pounds, so this is quite the accomplishment. Since coming home from the hospital I've lost about 60, and since my 6 week post-partum appointment I've lost about 35. Some of you have been so nice telling me that I gained "just enough weight for me!" No. I gained too much, I was a lazy, hungry, depressed pregnant woman. 55 pounds was too much, but luckily it didn't cause me too much trouble. And I lost it pretty quick.
It took a little more work that just sitting back and feeding my baby though. Breastfeeding makes you HUNGRY! OMG, my appetite is very huge. I believe I now eat more than my husband does during a typical shared meal. Before, I used to try to give him about 50% more food than me because I was trying to lose weight and he was 155 pounds of pure bone and muscle that lifts things for 10 hours a day for a living.
The hunger makes it easy to over-eat. I actually didn't lose any weight from 6 weeks to about 13 weeks post partum, then I really started to exercise, just walking mostly and burned through the rest of the baby weight that way. Nine months on, nine months off almost exactly. Then the weight loss slowed down and I dropped just about a pound a month before my son turned one.
I wanted to lose more, so I started running this June and I've lost another 7 pounds or so since then.
Exercise really has helped me, but I've done the weight loss thing before breastfeeding and I must say that breastfeeding makes it way easier. I may have a slight problem with my weight when my last child finally weans. For now I don't plan on trying to wean Cedric before getting pregnant with the next, so we'll have back to back nurslings.
Also for those of you not in the know, weight loss is safe with breastfeeding, so is exercise and reducing your calories. There's a bad myth still prevalent out there that you can't exercise or try to lose weight while breastfeeding, I'm living proof that it's not true. But do let your body recover from birth first!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
2 Years of Marriage (nearly), Taken Up Almost Entirely With Pregnancy and an Infant
Our second anniversary is on the 21st of this month. Our wedding was rated as the funnest wedding my grandmother has ever been to, which I feel I should get some sort of trophy for, because she went to four of her own children's weddings and probably many others, but I at least won the title of "most fun." It ended with us giving away full bottles of wine to the guests who stayed to the bitter end and helped us clean up, so that's a small indication of it's awesomeness. Actually, many people have said what a great night it was, which always makes me feel good because I planned the entire thing myself pretty much, with a little input from my husband to be, but really, it was me.
One thing I do kind of regret is not having an after party, but I was exhausted, we had a (ahem) marriage to consummate and an early plane departure in the morning.
The honeymoon was the best vacation I've ever been on. It was truly a wonderful week.
And then we got pregnant, on purpose! Nothing quite abruptly ends a honeymoon period like the first trimester of pregnancy. Then 9 months and 9 days exactly after our wedding, I gave birth.
14 months into our marriage I quit my job to have more time with my infant. And since then it's been a small roller coaster of financial unknowns and instability, nothing horrible, yet, but not like it was before. Most recently my husband got a very good promotion and a month later found out the company is dissolving in November.
It might seem fast, but we met in 2005, had been dating since 2007 and had been living together since 2008. Meeting to baby took nearly 6 years. Wedding was actually kind of secondary to having babies. We had our children in our vows. Our wedding might as well have been a "we're going to begin to try to conceive" party. This probably sounds like something the right-wing anti-birth control Christians would like, but I think the main point of our marriage was to conclusively commit to each other for the better of the babies we really wanted to have ASAP.
We really wanted kids, really, really. I'm so glad I waited until I did, but I don't think I could have waited even one more month.
Kids strain marriage. If you think it's going to strengthen your marriage, think again. I think in the long run it will have a strengthening effect. When we look back at this period in our lives we will say, "it was hard, but we did it and came out the other end with world's more knowledge and feeling very fulfilled."
Luckily we are very committed to each other and are very in love and even like the other person. Mostly I've learned that you have to let go of a lot. I'm finally feeling better about not doing as much. I just don't have the energy. I say I might go to things and often don't show up. Don't take it personally, I probably really wanted to go and then got home from work and didn't want to leave again. It's a short-term thing, for probably the next 5 to 10 years.
I have to remind myself of that a lot. I will not always have babies. They will always be my babies, but they will grow up.
When Cedric was just a month old, I was over at my aunt and uncle's house and my uncle said, "I remember the newborn stage being the low point. Kids mostly improve with age." And I think he's totally correct. I like 14 month old Cedric more than 9 month old Cedric and 9 month old Cedric was better than 1 month old Cedric. And when I babysit this 4 year old, I'm like, 4-year-olds are super easy! They might talk your ear off, but they use the toilet and dress themselves and don't have to be carried up the stairs and they listen pretty well.
And if you've been awesome enough to raise responsible teens, you can leave them for a week and go on a vacation without them. Oh I hope I'm awesome enough to do that.
I'm guessing we will view these first few years of marriage as not our best, but ones that laid the foundation of resilience and perseverance. We've actually had very few disagreements about the actual parenting we are doing, which is great, we are on the same page.
The baby himself is great, it's everything that comes along with the baby that is stressful. Even the most confident parent can have great feelings of doubt, I believe. The contradictory info is in every parenting topic and you have to make hard decisions, ones that could possibly effect your child, another human being, for the rest of his life. No pressure or anything, just the rest of this child's life is all.
I hear the second one is easier.
One thing I do kind of regret is not having an after party, but I was exhausted, we had a (ahem) marriage to consummate and an early plane departure in the morning.
The honeymoon was the best vacation I've ever been on. It was truly a wonderful week.
And then we got pregnant, on purpose! Nothing quite abruptly ends a honeymoon period like the first trimester of pregnancy. Then 9 months and 9 days exactly after our wedding, I gave birth.
14 months into our marriage I quit my job to have more time with my infant. And since then it's been a small roller coaster of financial unknowns and instability, nothing horrible, yet, but not like it was before. Most recently my husband got a very good promotion and a month later found out the company is dissolving in November.
It might seem fast, but we met in 2005, had been dating since 2007 and had been living together since 2008. Meeting to baby took nearly 6 years. Wedding was actually kind of secondary to having babies. We had our children in our vows. Our wedding might as well have been a "we're going to begin to try to conceive" party. This probably sounds like something the right-wing anti-birth control Christians would like, but I think the main point of our marriage was to conclusively commit to each other for the better of the babies we really wanted to have ASAP.
We really wanted kids, really, really. I'm so glad I waited until I did, but I don't think I could have waited even one more month.
Kids strain marriage. If you think it's going to strengthen your marriage, think again. I think in the long run it will have a strengthening effect. When we look back at this period in our lives we will say, "it was hard, but we did it and came out the other end with world's more knowledge and feeling very fulfilled."
Luckily we are very committed to each other and are very in love and even like the other person. Mostly I've learned that you have to let go of a lot. I'm finally feeling better about not doing as much. I just don't have the energy. I say I might go to things and often don't show up. Don't take it personally, I probably really wanted to go and then got home from work and didn't want to leave again. It's a short-term thing, for probably the next 5 to 10 years.
I have to remind myself of that a lot. I will not always have babies. They will always be my babies, but they will grow up.
When Cedric was just a month old, I was over at my aunt and uncle's house and my uncle said, "I remember the newborn stage being the low point. Kids mostly improve with age." And I think he's totally correct. I like 14 month old Cedric more than 9 month old Cedric and 9 month old Cedric was better than 1 month old Cedric. And when I babysit this 4 year old, I'm like, 4-year-olds are super easy! They might talk your ear off, but they use the toilet and dress themselves and don't have to be carried up the stairs and they listen pretty well.
And if you've been awesome enough to raise responsible teens, you can leave them for a week and go on a vacation without them. Oh I hope I'm awesome enough to do that.
I'm guessing we will view these first few years of marriage as not our best, but ones that laid the foundation of resilience and perseverance. We've actually had very few disagreements about the actual parenting we are doing, which is great, we are on the same page.
The baby himself is great, it's everything that comes along with the baby that is stressful. Even the most confident parent can have great feelings of doubt, I believe. The contradictory info is in every parenting topic and you have to make hard decisions, ones that could possibly effect your child, another human being, for the rest of his life. No pressure or anything, just the rest of this child's life is all.
I hear the second one is easier.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
The Beginning of the End of Breastfeeding
I have a lot of fears and anxiety. My world is ruled by them way too much. I'm working on dealing with this and think I've done pretty well. I rarely get full blown panic attacks anymore, for instance.
Today I looked deep inside myself and realized I had a big fears about ending breastfeeding. I'm not quitting, but I've come to a point where I really need to start the slow process of scaling back, mostly with pumping. And this is scary.
I breastfeed. It's what I do. It's the main aspect of my mothering. My son nurses a lot and we have this really great breastfeeding relationship and it makes my life really easy. No need to prepare snacks, just get out the boob. I do give my son solids, but when I'm around, breast milk straight from the tap is still a big winner. I'm very proud of what I overcame to acheive this relationship, I didn't overcome a huge amount, but I had struggles and had to learn a lot of new things.
But I don't need to pump every time I'm away from him. I got really freaked out when I ran my first 5K. I freaked out about being able to pump, but you know what? I was totally fine. I did try to pump a little, but got barely anything... and it was OK, he was 13 months old after all. My supply is well established now. It will be fine for me to go a 9 hour work shift without pumping. We can do this.
And I feel panicky, because this is all I know. Or at least it feels this way. My baby is growing up. Actually he's not a baby anymore, he's a walking toddler. I have to trust that he will be fine without breast milk while away from me. I know this sounds silly, but this is actually hard. This pump has been my connection to him while I'm away. It's been annoying sometimes, but mostly awesome.
I am excited too. I'm excited to enter the next phase, to not have to worry about the pump. To see my child move a small step away from me. My husband will like not having to wash the pumping supplies. Before I know it, he'll be eating way more solids and drinking well from a cup and bottles will disappear. So far, this kid has improved with age and gotten easier every month for the most part. I can do a load of laundry without him crying by the door now. We usually just have one wake up for a minute at night. And I feel ease instead of anxiety when I leave him with a sitter.
I was out of my mind a year ago and now I feel like I'm finding sanity with motherhood. Everything is moving along well. I can do this. This is a small step along the path to eventual weaning, I don't know exactly how it will go, but every child weans eventually. My goal is still 24 months and then we'll see.
And here we go... starting to wean off the pump.
Today I looked deep inside myself and realized I had a big fears about ending breastfeeding. I'm not quitting, but I've come to a point where I really need to start the slow process of scaling back, mostly with pumping. And this is scary.
I breastfeed. It's what I do. It's the main aspect of my mothering. My son nurses a lot and we have this really great breastfeeding relationship and it makes my life really easy. No need to prepare snacks, just get out the boob. I do give my son solids, but when I'm around, breast milk straight from the tap is still a big winner. I'm very proud of what I overcame to acheive this relationship, I didn't overcome a huge amount, but I had struggles and had to learn a lot of new things.
But I don't need to pump every time I'm away from him. I got really freaked out when I ran my first 5K. I freaked out about being able to pump, but you know what? I was totally fine. I did try to pump a little, but got barely anything... and it was OK, he was 13 months old after all. My supply is well established now. It will be fine for me to go a 9 hour work shift without pumping. We can do this.
And I feel panicky, because this is all I know. Or at least it feels this way. My baby is growing up. Actually he's not a baby anymore, he's a walking toddler. I have to trust that he will be fine without breast milk while away from me. I know this sounds silly, but this is actually hard. This pump has been my connection to him while I'm away. It's been annoying sometimes, but mostly awesome.
I am excited too. I'm excited to enter the next phase, to not have to worry about the pump. To see my child move a small step away from me. My husband will like not having to wash the pumping supplies. Before I know it, he'll be eating way more solids and drinking well from a cup and bottles will disappear. So far, this kid has improved with age and gotten easier every month for the most part. I can do a load of laundry without him crying by the door now. We usually just have one wake up for a minute at night. And I feel ease instead of anxiety when I leave him with a sitter.
I was out of my mind a year ago and now I feel like I'm finding sanity with motherhood. Everything is moving along well. I can do this. This is a small step along the path to eventual weaning, I don't know exactly how it will go, but every child weans eventually. My goal is still 24 months and then we'll see.
And here we go... starting to wean off the pump.
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