I got a new job. I'll be working awake overnights on weekends two night a week. I'm super excited. I will be getting over a 40% pay raise from my current job and will be in a slightly new field learning new things.
I sat down and googled shift work sleep schedules and came up wit a plan for managing this sleep. Ideally for most of the other nights I want a normal 10-pm-ish to 7-am-ish sleep schedule. This meant I felt a huge need to get Cedric on a sleep schedule, finally. I'm hoping to get him to sleep sometime between 8 and 9 pm most nights, tonight he was down at 8:40 pm, so that was great. We have a simple routine of getting sleep clothes on, brushing teeth, reading two stories, closing the bedroom door, turning off the bedroom light, and nursing in bed until he's asleep. Tonight it only took 25 mins, this is awesome. This morning he was up at 7 am so I suspect tomorrow will be similar. If he gets up at 6:30 or earlier, I'm moving bedtime later.
My husband works evenings and gets home on average around 12:30 am. Ideally I want to be fast asleep by this point, which means really trying to be in bed by 10:30 at the latest. If I'm up when he gets home I have a hard time falling asleep while he's getting a snack and winding down for the night. So on the nights he works I want to be able to get up with Cedric in the morning and let him sleep in a bit. Then on Thursday night, Friday morning I plan on keeping myself up until about 3 am and sleeping until noonish to prepare for staying up all night Friday to Saturday morning. Then I'll get home from work at about 9 am and sleep as long as I can, hopefully until 4 ish. Then on Sunday morning I plan on making myself get up by 1 pm, be really tired that day so that I can get to sleep at 10 pm that night.
I think if I really stick to this plan, it will be good. One thing is that I will end up having quite a bit of time alone at night now while my child is sleeping and my husband is either at work or sleeping. Plus he still takes one nap a day of 1-3 hours depending on how night sleep went. Today it was 1.5 hours. So I'm kind of excited about this. I need to come up with things to do. Of course there will be household tasks, but not that much; I don't have high standards. I might write, I might try an exercise video, I might take up crochetting again. I need something to get me excited, so I don't just putz on the internet reading cracked.com and facebook. Maybe an online course?
I'm also trying to plan stuff for the evenings while Brent is working. I've got some regular dinner with friends things brewing, and I found a Thursday night Al-anon meeting that has childcare that I'm going to check out. I need late afternoon and evening things to bring Cedric to and that is hard to find. So I plan on trying to invite lots of people over for dinner at my place, I like to cook and staying in is easier in the winter with a toddler. I might have to try to find a kid-friendly yoga class or something like that.
Now that work schedules are calmed down, still crazy, but not so much in flux, I feel like I can start doing some things again.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
The Three Act Story of Getting Cedric Antibiotics; A Comedy
Act I.
We had a problem. My son, Cedric, was sick. Barfing sick, barfing a lot. Way more than the first time he had a barfing illness. I called the nurses line through our HCMC clinic and she told me to go the the ER. Sigh. I had little interest in going to the ER. I took a look at him, he was happily playing at the moment and seemed like he would survive avoiding the ER and going to Urgent Care instead.
I called my friend, Manda and asked her accompany me. My husband was at work. It was a Friday afternoon, around 2 pm. We headed to St. Louis Park, which has an all day Urgent Care. We got in to see the doctor (actually a nurse practitioner) around 3:30. He looked in his throat and said it was red. He decided to do a throat culture. We went to the lobby to wait for the test results, Cedric ran around and had a blast, he didn't seem so sick at the moment. He hadn't thrown up for several hours now, I thought we were all done with vomit.
Turns out he did have strep. We discussed the options. Either a shot of antibiotics, or liquid oral antibiotics. I decided on the liquid oral antibiotics. Mistake ONE, but I wouldn't find that out until later. I stupidly thought it would be easy to give it to him. I didn't even think about the fact that his vomiting might come back...
The nurse said he would send the prescription by fax to our preferred pharmacy, which for some damn reason is Target right now. Mistake TWO. We all headed for Target around 4:10 pm, arrived a bit after 4:30 thinking it was all going to be good. The classic end to an Act I.
Act II.
Cedric fell asleep in the car on the way to Target. So I got his stroller out of the hatchback so he could have a comfy place to lay down while we hung out in Target waiting for the prescription. We were also told to get some Pedialyte and Children's Advil. He was at risk for dehydration.
Cedric had stripped off his socks at the Urgent Care, which he does often. He loves to take off his socks and since it was 50 degrees out, I didn't worry too much about it; he had on long pants and a long sleeve shirt. Why am I telling you this? Oh that's because...
When I entered Target with my sick toddler laying in his stroller some older random-ass stranger lady came up to me and said, "Aren't your child's feet cold without socks on?" And then she shook her head very disapprovingly and walked away from me quickly. The message was clear, "you are horrible for not having socks on your child."
I yelled after her, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" She, of course did not respond and hurried on in to Target. I have never had a stranger do something like that to me. I have gotten comments, but never so mean as that.
What I wanted to say to her: "Look, asshole! You have no idea what I have been through in the last 24 hours, would you like to know? I've had a vomiting child on my hands, one that vomited several times into my own bed and on to my computer chair and on to the kitchen floor and on to several of me and my husband's clothing items. I barely slept last night, had to wait a good hour and a half in Urgent Care and found out my son needs antibiotics. He pulled his socks off about an hour ago and you know what? I guess I didn't think it was super important to get them back on again. If you would like to take over care of this sick child for the next few days, by all means, take him off my hands. You force antibiotic down his throat, clean up his vomit, and make sure he doesn't dehydrate! Clearly you are the expert here!"
It sets a bad tone for the rest of the Target trip.
We picked up some Pedialyte which was hard to find, and got some Children's Advil. Then we went to see if the prescription had come in yet. We got this message: "Oh our fax machine is broken, did he send it regular fax or via E-fax?"
Seriously? "I have no idea." The pharmacy lady tells me I will need to call my clinic. "It's an urgent care, I don't have the number!" She somehow is able to look up a number for the Health Partners St. Louis Park scheduling line. I try it and get someone to transfer me to urgent care. I explain the situation and tell them to call in the prescription. "What is the number?" Oh goddamnit. "What the number here!" I yell to whoever in the pharmacy can hear me, and we somehow get it to her.
I decide to nurse Cedric a bit, who needs fluids. He immediately vomits on to Target's floor and my sweater. We clean up the best we can and Manda tracks down an employee who just wipes up the vomit with a paper towel... which makes me wary of Target's floor cleanliness. Here I was thinking they had some protocol for vomit clean up. I told her to wash her hands well. She didn't even have gloves on.
We walk around Target for a while and go back to check. This time the pharmacy lady says that by some miracle they did get the faxed prescription and that it will be ready in 20 minutes. Then about 3 minutes later the pharmacy calls my cell phone to tell me that the prescription isn't a legal one, they aren't allowed to fill it. Somehow the doctor or the clinic messed up the prescription and didn't write it correctly. W. T. F?! I have never heard of this happening before. I basically asked them to fill it anyway, pretty, pretty please? No.
Then I ask her to call the clinic. Please can the pharmacy just call the clinic and figure this shit out? She says, "I'm not going to do that, we are too busy." Are you kidding me? So apparently OTHER customers are way more important than me. I call the appointment line again, which is how I got to urgent care the first time. This time the woman on the line refuses to connect me to urgent care. I'm not kidding. She says they don't have a number, even though I was just connected to their number less than an hour ago. Instead she transfers me to a nurses line.
I tell my friend, Manda, that we should buy what we have and get out of here, I may very well need to drive all the way back to the clinic to get a written prescription. As we are checking out and I'm on hold on the nurses line, I start to cry. My baby needs antibiotics and it seems impossible to get them. All hope is lost. A fitting end to Act II.
Act III.
We check out and all head to my car and load everything and everyone into it. Then someone finally picks up the nurses line and I spew out my horrible tale for a good minute to the nurse. She takes it seriously and calls urgent care herself. She says they are going to send it again.
I suddenly realize how hungry I am, It's past 6 pm now and I haven't eaten since lunchtime. "You want to get Wendy's?" I ask Manda, and she agrees. Wendy's is just across the street. We go through the drive-thru and eat in the car, I'm in no shape for public eating. I inhale my food. We decide to call Target Pharmacy first to see if the prescription is ready before going back in. I call and I'm lucky, she says the clinic called and confirmed the prescription. It is ready to pick up.
I literally run into Target while Manda watches the car and Cedric and get the goddamn antibiotics. We all head to my house. I get the first dose into Cedric and 50 minutes later he vomits. I think it is good enough.
Afterward:
After all of that, Cedric ended up barely drinking any fluids that evening and overnight. He refused my breast in the morning and immediately threw up his morning antibiotic dose. I had to go to work for a few hours in the morning. Talking to Brent on the phone around 9:30 am I learn that he is refusing everything and is just sleeping now. Brent hasn't been able to get another dose of antibiotics into him. I tell him to take Cedric to the ER at Children's, which is very close to our house. Brent agrees and I spend the next hour freaking out at work, not getting much done and waiting for news from Brent.
Luckily Cedric got in right away and was given a shot of antibiotics and some anti-nausea medicine. I get word of this at 10:30 am and I am finally able to relax. By the time I get to the ER he is being discharged.
The End.
We had a problem. My son, Cedric, was sick. Barfing sick, barfing a lot. Way more than the first time he had a barfing illness. I called the nurses line through our HCMC clinic and she told me to go the the ER. Sigh. I had little interest in going to the ER. I took a look at him, he was happily playing at the moment and seemed like he would survive avoiding the ER and going to Urgent Care instead.
I called my friend, Manda and asked her accompany me. My husband was at work. It was a Friday afternoon, around 2 pm. We headed to St. Louis Park, which has an all day Urgent Care. We got in to see the doctor (actually a nurse practitioner) around 3:30. He looked in his throat and said it was red. He decided to do a throat culture. We went to the lobby to wait for the test results, Cedric ran around and had a blast, he didn't seem so sick at the moment. He hadn't thrown up for several hours now, I thought we were all done with vomit.
Turns out he did have strep. We discussed the options. Either a shot of antibiotics, or liquid oral antibiotics. I decided on the liquid oral antibiotics. Mistake ONE, but I wouldn't find that out until later. I stupidly thought it would be easy to give it to him. I didn't even think about the fact that his vomiting might come back...
The nurse said he would send the prescription by fax to our preferred pharmacy, which for some damn reason is Target right now. Mistake TWO. We all headed for Target around 4:10 pm, arrived a bit after 4:30 thinking it was all going to be good. The classic end to an Act I.
Act II.
Cedric fell asleep in the car on the way to Target. So I got his stroller out of the hatchback so he could have a comfy place to lay down while we hung out in Target waiting for the prescription. We were also told to get some Pedialyte and Children's Advil. He was at risk for dehydration.
Cedric had stripped off his socks at the Urgent Care, which he does often. He loves to take off his socks and since it was 50 degrees out, I didn't worry too much about it; he had on long pants and a long sleeve shirt. Why am I telling you this? Oh that's because...
When I entered Target with my sick toddler laying in his stroller some older random-ass stranger lady came up to me and said, "Aren't your child's feet cold without socks on?" And then she shook her head very disapprovingly and walked away from me quickly. The message was clear, "you are horrible for not having socks on your child."
I yelled after her, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" She, of course did not respond and hurried on in to Target. I have never had a stranger do something like that to me. I have gotten comments, but never so mean as that.
What I wanted to say to her: "Look, asshole! You have no idea what I have been through in the last 24 hours, would you like to know? I've had a vomiting child on my hands, one that vomited several times into my own bed and on to my computer chair and on to the kitchen floor and on to several of me and my husband's clothing items. I barely slept last night, had to wait a good hour and a half in Urgent Care and found out my son needs antibiotics. He pulled his socks off about an hour ago and you know what? I guess I didn't think it was super important to get them back on again. If you would like to take over care of this sick child for the next few days, by all means, take him off my hands. You force antibiotic down his throat, clean up his vomit, and make sure he doesn't dehydrate! Clearly you are the expert here!"
It sets a bad tone for the rest of the Target trip.
We picked up some Pedialyte which was hard to find, and got some Children's Advil. Then we went to see if the prescription had come in yet. We got this message: "Oh our fax machine is broken, did he send it regular fax or via E-fax?"
Seriously? "I have no idea." The pharmacy lady tells me I will need to call my clinic. "It's an urgent care, I don't have the number!" She somehow is able to look up a number for the Health Partners St. Louis Park scheduling line. I try it and get someone to transfer me to urgent care. I explain the situation and tell them to call in the prescription. "What is the number?" Oh goddamnit. "What the number here!" I yell to whoever in the pharmacy can hear me, and we somehow get it to her.
I decide to nurse Cedric a bit, who needs fluids. He immediately vomits on to Target's floor and my sweater. We clean up the best we can and Manda tracks down an employee who just wipes up the vomit with a paper towel... which makes me wary of Target's floor cleanliness. Here I was thinking they had some protocol for vomit clean up. I told her to wash her hands well. She didn't even have gloves on.
We walk around Target for a while and go back to check. This time the pharmacy lady says that by some miracle they did get the faxed prescription and that it will be ready in 20 minutes. Then about 3 minutes later the pharmacy calls my cell phone to tell me that the prescription isn't a legal one, they aren't allowed to fill it. Somehow the doctor or the clinic messed up the prescription and didn't write it correctly. W. T. F?! I have never heard of this happening before. I basically asked them to fill it anyway, pretty, pretty please? No.
Then I ask her to call the clinic. Please can the pharmacy just call the clinic and figure this shit out? She says, "I'm not going to do that, we are too busy." Are you kidding me? So apparently OTHER customers are way more important than me. I call the appointment line again, which is how I got to urgent care the first time. This time the woman on the line refuses to connect me to urgent care. I'm not kidding. She says they don't have a number, even though I was just connected to their number less than an hour ago. Instead she transfers me to a nurses line.
I tell my friend, Manda, that we should buy what we have and get out of here, I may very well need to drive all the way back to the clinic to get a written prescription. As we are checking out and I'm on hold on the nurses line, I start to cry. My baby needs antibiotics and it seems impossible to get them. All hope is lost. A fitting end to Act II.
Act III.
We check out and all head to my car and load everything and everyone into it. Then someone finally picks up the nurses line and I spew out my horrible tale for a good minute to the nurse. She takes it seriously and calls urgent care herself. She says they are going to send it again.
I suddenly realize how hungry I am, It's past 6 pm now and I haven't eaten since lunchtime. "You want to get Wendy's?" I ask Manda, and she agrees. Wendy's is just across the street. We go through the drive-thru and eat in the car, I'm in no shape for public eating. I inhale my food. We decide to call Target Pharmacy first to see if the prescription is ready before going back in. I call and I'm lucky, she says the clinic called and confirmed the prescription. It is ready to pick up.
I literally run into Target while Manda watches the car and Cedric and get the goddamn antibiotics. We all head to my house. I get the first dose into Cedric and 50 minutes later he vomits. I think it is good enough.
Afterward:
After all of that, Cedric ended up barely drinking any fluids that evening and overnight. He refused my breast in the morning and immediately threw up his morning antibiotic dose. I had to go to work for a few hours in the morning. Talking to Brent on the phone around 9:30 am I learn that he is refusing everything and is just sleeping now. Brent hasn't been able to get another dose of antibiotics into him. I tell him to take Cedric to the ER at Children's, which is very close to our house. Brent agrees and I spend the next hour freaking out at work, not getting much done and waiting for news from Brent.
Luckily Cedric got in right away and was given a shot of antibiotics and some anti-nausea medicine. I get word of this at 10:30 am and I am finally able to relax. By the time I get to the ER he is being discharged.
The End.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Our Home
We bought this duplex in Powderhorn Park 2 1/2 years ago and have settled in to it nicely with the baby. We live upstairs and have renters downstairs who give us money to live there. It works out very nicely financially. It's the only way I was able to quit my full time job when Cedric was 5 months old.
The original plan was to live in it for the 3 years we had to to keep our $8,000 tax break for first time home buyers. Then we planned on buying something else and renting this place completely out. This is still not a bad plan, but I have doubts that we'll have saved enough money for another down payment on another place. We are also slightly in the hole with our current mortgage, because home values continued to decrease after we bought ours. So I'm unsure about our ability to get another mortgage or any kind of a loan, although we both have excellent credit.
And now I'm kind of falling in love with the neighborhood and my neighbors and the house itself. I feel like we could stay here for a while. I feel like we could have 2 small kids fit comfortably here in our 900 square foot space. I also feel like it would be hard to find anything better for the price we could afford. But hopefully we can both find better jobs sometime in the next 6 months. I think it is likely we will be living here when the next baby arrives (2014 estimate), and probably a bit after that. Call it a 5 year home plan of sorts.
The biggest thing me and my husband have been discussing is what to work on in the house. I have a long list of things I would like to do to make the house better. I would like to fence in the backyard, screen in the front porch, get a new kitchen floor, paint the ugly oak kitchen cabinets, and a few other things. My husband would like to do as little as possible and save money for the next house. And it's really a moot point right now because we don't have extra money for either. Back to the jobs, we feel kind of stuck until this job crap gets sorted out. It's hard to budget when you really don't know what your future income will be.
I think doing a bit of work will increase the selling or renting power of this place. The cheapest thing I can do right now it to fix up our neglected yard, which I've been doing a little of and am committed to doing this spring. Mostly it's going to be pulling up weeds and little trees and doing some over seeding and mulching. I'm doing some preliminary weeding of the paved areas now. At least it will make the sidewalks easier to shovel. And maybe I can convince my husband to take on the screening project or something else.
I felt overwhelmed by home ownership the first couple years, but now I really want to make this a nice place, one that we'll probably be hanging in for a few more years.
The original plan was to live in it for the 3 years we had to to keep our $8,000 tax break for first time home buyers. Then we planned on buying something else and renting this place completely out. This is still not a bad plan, but I have doubts that we'll have saved enough money for another down payment on another place. We are also slightly in the hole with our current mortgage, because home values continued to decrease after we bought ours. So I'm unsure about our ability to get another mortgage or any kind of a loan, although we both have excellent credit.
And now I'm kind of falling in love with the neighborhood and my neighbors and the house itself. I feel like we could stay here for a while. I feel like we could have 2 small kids fit comfortably here in our 900 square foot space. I also feel like it would be hard to find anything better for the price we could afford. But hopefully we can both find better jobs sometime in the next 6 months. I think it is likely we will be living here when the next baby arrives (2014 estimate), and probably a bit after that. Call it a 5 year home plan of sorts.
The biggest thing me and my husband have been discussing is what to work on in the house. I have a long list of things I would like to do to make the house better. I would like to fence in the backyard, screen in the front porch, get a new kitchen floor, paint the ugly oak kitchen cabinets, and a few other things. My husband would like to do as little as possible and save money for the next house. And it's really a moot point right now because we don't have extra money for either. Back to the jobs, we feel kind of stuck until this job crap gets sorted out. It's hard to budget when you really don't know what your future income will be.
I think doing a bit of work will increase the selling or renting power of this place. The cheapest thing I can do right now it to fix up our neglected yard, which I've been doing a little of and am committed to doing this spring. Mostly it's going to be pulling up weeds and little trees and doing some over seeding and mulching. I'm doing some preliminary weeding of the paved areas now. At least it will make the sidewalks easier to shovel. And maybe I can convince my husband to take on the screening project or something else.
I felt overwhelmed by home ownership the first couple years, but now I really want to make this a nice place, one that we'll probably be hanging in for a few more years.
Friday, October 5, 2012
My Son Chooses His Words Carefully
I feel the need to write a blog about my son's language development, or lack thereof.
I swing back and forth between being content and being frustrated and wondering if I did something wrong.
We have what you could call a "late talker." Though at 16 months, it's still way too early to be worrying about any kind of disability.
A book Brent got from the library says we should only worry if he doesn't have at least 15 words by 18 months. Our doctor says she won't really worry until 24 months. And my husband was a late talker too (I was an early talker). So chances are he is totally fine and is just content to not talk right now. I will be blown away if he has 15 words by 18 months, because right now he has maybe three words and maybe two signs.
He has said other words, but not consistently Like way back when he was 11 months I swore I heard him say "kitty" and "baby." But then I really haven't heard them since then. It's like he practiced those and now he's done. And although I've been signing my ass off sometimes, he really has only picked up "milk" and "more" and he usually chooses to not use them. Pointing and grunting or screaming or going "muh muh muh muh," is what he does.
His one word right now is, "uh oh." "Mama" has been around for a while, but I really don't hear it that much. "Dada" is a rarity.
It's enough to make a first time parent go mad. We've actually been decently calm about it. It creeps up into my anxiety every once in a while. I'm so happy to hear about ya'll's stories about all the words and signs your toddlers have, but it's shocking to a mother who's son rarely puts a couple letters together. I sometimes think, "what did they do differently?"
I also get shocked when I hear about your little one's teething molars because my son still only has four teeth, but teeth development is a little more blame-proof. I don't think being a better mother pushes those teeth through faster.
Cedric does understand a lot. This is a big reason why our doctor told us that he's totally normal. He follows simple commands. He'll give me a hug when I ask for one, he'll put stuff in the trash when I ask him, he knows to be upset when I tell him "no" or that he "can't have that." He also is starting to get sneaky. He knows that I can only enforce rules when I catch him in the act. He often looks over his shoulder to see if I am watching. He's a smart boy.
What's really crazy is that talking kids actually annoy me a great deal sometimes. There are three little girls who live below us in our duplex and when warm weather comes I can hear them talking. And they say the craziest things, and they are loud, and they sometimes run around repeating things over and over and over and you just want to yell at them to shut up, but you don't because you're an adult who has hopefully learned to act like one.
And I've babysat this one four year old a few times and man... the questions that come out of his mouth are non-stop... and crazy questions that are hard to answer, specific questions that I don't have answers to, and the questions keep coming and you want him to be inquisitive, but instead you're dumbfounded and feel like there should be some manual for answering the types of questions that kids ask. One of the kids that lives below us asked me one day, "what are those." "Groceries," I said, because they were groceries. "What are they for?" Uh.... what do you MEAN what are they for? They are groceries... doesn't the fact that they are groceries answer what they are for? I don't know what you want me to explain! What kind of a question is that? Kids ask weird questions, is what I am saying.
So maybe it is a blessing that he is not yet talking. And the real reason is probably that he takes after his father, who chooses his words carefully and never says anything frivolous. My husband does not waste words goddamnit, each one has a good purpose. It's either something I need to know, something to make me laugh, or something to make me feel good. No meaningless jabber about his day, or at least very little. And I'm the opposite, almost, I will talk and talk and talk and tell him a whole bunch of meaningless things he doesn't really need to know, just to make conversation and entertainment and to process my thoughts. He says he enjoys listening, so we both win.
So perhaps my son is internally processing his thoughts and someday he will open his mouth and say something very profound and thought provoking. I guess I'll keep you posted.
I swing back and forth between being content and being frustrated and wondering if I did something wrong.
We have what you could call a "late talker." Though at 16 months, it's still way too early to be worrying about any kind of disability.
A book Brent got from the library says we should only worry if he doesn't have at least 15 words by 18 months. Our doctor says she won't really worry until 24 months. And my husband was a late talker too (I was an early talker). So chances are he is totally fine and is just content to not talk right now. I will be blown away if he has 15 words by 18 months, because right now he has maybe three words and maybe two signs.
He has said other words, but not consistently Like way back when he was 11 months I swore I heard him say "kitty" and "baby." But then I really haven't heard them since then. It's like he practiced those and now he's done. And although I've been signing my ass off sometimes, he really has only picked up "milk" and "more" and he usually chooses to not use them. Pointing and grunting or screaming or going "muh muh muh muh," is what he does.
His one word right now is, "uh oh." "Mama" has been around for a while, but I really don't hear it that much. "Dada" is a rarity.
It's enough to make a first time parent go mad. We've actually been decently calm about it. It creeps up into my anxiety every once in a while. I'm so happy to hear about ya'll's stories about all the words and signs your toddlers have, but it's shocking to a mother who's son rarely puts a couple letters together. I sometimes think, "what did they do differently?"
I also get shocked when I hear about your little one's teething molars because my son still only has four teeth, but teeth development is a little more blame-proof. I don't think being a better mother pushes those teeth through faster.
Cedric does understand a lot. This is a big reason why our doctor told us that he's totally normal. He follows simple commands. He'll give me a hug when I ask for one, he'll put stuff in the trash when I ask him, he knows to be upset when I tell him "no" or that he "can't have that." He also is starting to get sneaky. He knows that I can only enforce rules when I catch him in the act. He often looks over his shoulder to see if I am watching. He's a smart boy.
What's really crazy is that talking kids actually annoy me a great deal sometimes. There are three little girls who live below us in our duplex and when warm weather comes I can hear them talking. And they say the craziest things, and they are loud, and they sometimes run around repeating things over and over and over and you just want to yell at them to shut up, but you don't because you're an adult who has hopefully learned to act like one.
And I've babysat this one four year old a few times and man... the questions that come out of his mouth are non-stop... and crazy questions that are hard to answer, specific questions that I don't have answers to, and the questions keep coming and you want him to be inquisitive, but instead you're dumbfounded and feel like there should be some manual for answering the types of questions that kids ask. One of the kids that lives below us asked me one day, "what are those." "Groceries," I said, because they were groceries. "What are they for?" Uh.... what do you MEAN what are they for? They are groceries... doesn't the fact that they are groceries answer what they are for? I don't know what you want me to explain! What kind of a question is that? Kids ask weird questions, is what I am saying.
So maybe it is a blessing that he is not yet talking. And the real reason is probably that he takes after his father, who chooses his words carefully and never says anything frivolous. My husband does not waste words goddamnit, each one has a good purpose. It's either something I need to know, something to make me laugh, or something to make me feel good. No meaningless jabber about his day, or at least very little. And I'm the opposite, almost, I will talk and talk and talk and tell him a whole bunch of meaningless things he doesn't really need to know, just to make conversation and entertainment and to process my thoughts. He says he enjoys listening, so we both win.
So perhaps my son is internally processing his thoughts and someday he will open his mouth and say something very profound and thought provoking. I guess I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
One Year of Elimination Communication
It was about this time last year that I started EC for real, with my then 4 month old son. I caught a pee ater a nap one day and there it began. A few months later I was regularly catching all the night time pees, and many of the day time pees and sometimes a poop. I could pee him in a public restroom, or outside. I peed him in a parking lot on vacation. Things were going great. He still wore diapers most of the time, but we used less of them and we thought we were on our way to diaper freedom. At this time, however, I was doing most of the peeing and my husband rarely got our son to pee in a potty.
Then around 9 or 10 months it all changed and my son suddenly HATED the potty. Hated it SO much. I tried using different potties, different positions, tried the sink, tried it outside, tried everything. Nope, he was having none of it. By 12 months old we caught about one pee a week, on a good week. It was tough. At the same time, the once easy diaper changes also became horrible for him. So not only was pottying super hard, diaper changes were super hard. And my once, dry-through-the-night boy, stated wetting the bed.
I gave up and put him in disposables during the night, which he would soak by morning. But I didn't give up entirely. I still kept him in cloth diapers during the day and changed them as soon as he wet them. And I didn't give p on the potty, but would only try the potty once in the morning. I figured that as soon as he started going in the potty once a day, I could expand it more. I also feared that it was all over and that we'd have him in diapers for years.
But then it changed again, around 14 months when he learned how to walk well, he suddenly didn't mind the potty so much. I did a couple days of naked time and quickly brought him to the potty when he started to pee. This got him back on track to using the potty. We started catching the morning pees, and when I say "we," I really mean that both me and my husband could do it. Shortly after this we started catching the after nap pee too. And he started staying dry through the night again, so we gave up the night time disposable.
He's now 16 months old and although I've tried to catch other pees at different times and even tried catching poops when I suspect they are on their way, I have been unsuccessful. For now I am content to catch two pees a day and continue to change his cloth diapers as soon as they are wet.
At the time, I was so confused as to what was going on, but looking back this long potty pause was a developmental potty pause for learning to walk. He was starting to stand a little at 10 months and took his first steps at 12 months and perfected walking a little after 14 months. This was exactly when the potty pause began and ended. It was a long one and one we haven't quite recovered from.
We've also come to learn that our son is a very determined and persistent boy with lots of energy. He was a relatively easy younger baby, but has grown into a young boy with a more challenging temperament. I feel like I'm waiting for a window of opportunity to put it all together and throw the diapers out (or into basement storage). EC definitely did not go as expected, but we still benefited from it greatly.
Our son had diaper rash ONE time, when he was 3 months old, before we even started EC. This was when he got his first cold and had diarrhea with it. That was it, no more rash, ever. If you want to prevent diaper rash, use cloth and change them as soon as they are wet and let that butt get some air sometimes too. EC takes care of all of this. Diaper rash is not inevitable.
We also are very aware of our son's elimination patterns because we check him often and have looked for the signs for so long. I sometimes know when he is peeing, but not enough in advance to get him to the potty. We learned very early on that he doesn't pee while asleep. Hint, most babies do NOT pee while asleep, they wake up to pee, which can often explain some of the night wakings when they are young. We were ahead of the game by bringing him to a potty when he woke up. Co-sleeping helped a lot. Ironically I believe that co-sleeping has led to less wet beds over all because of my awareness of his need to pee. I would not have been aware of this need had he been apart from me. The handful of times he's gotten our bed wet I bet in no way amounts to the typical amount of crib sheet soakings.
It's also been a great comfort to me, who is a pretty anxious mother, because I know I'm keeping him as comfortable as a can and trying my best to address his need to pee and poop. Our son as not very troubled by peeing or pooping on him self, but some babies are sensitive to it. If you have a fussy baby and don't know why they are fussing, you should think about whether they might need to pee. It's entirely possible that you have a baby that doesn't like to go in a diaper and then you can be one of those lucky ones who are diaper free much earlier than the rest.
So, I'll keep you posted on our quest to end diaper use. My hope is by the end of the year, but part of me thinks it will take a few more months past then. If we've made little progress by 20 months I'm going to invest in a copy of Oh Crap Potty Training, which I've heard great things about. You can find it at http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Then around 9 or 10 months it all changed and my son suddenly HATED the potty. Hated it SO much. I tried using different potties, different positions, tried the sink, tried it outside, tried everything. Nope, he was having none of it. By 12 months old we caught about one pee a week, on a good week. It was tough. At the same time, the once easy diaper changes also became horrible for him. So not only was pottying super hard, diaper changes were super hard. And my once, dry-through-the-night boy, stated wetting the bed.
I gave up and put him in disposables during the night, which he would soak by morning. But I didn't give up entirely. I still kept him in cloth diapers during the day and changed them as soon as he wet them. And I didn't give p on the potty, but would only try the potty once in the morning. I figured that as soon as he started going in the potty once a day, I could expand it more. I also feared that it was all over and that we'd have him in diapers for years.
But then it changed again, around 14 months when he learned how to walk well, he suddenly didn't mind the potty so much. I did a couple days of naked time and quickly brought him to the potty when he started to pee. This got him back on track to using the potty. We started catching the morning pees, and when I say "we," I really mean that both me and my husband could do it. Shortly after this we started catching the after nap pee too. And he started staying dry through the night again, so we gave up the night time disposable.
He's now 16 months old and although I've tried to catch other pees at different times and even tried catching poops when I suspect they are on their way, I have been unsuccessful. For now I am content to catch two pees a day and continue to change his cloth diapers as soon as they are wet.
At the time, I was so confused as to what was going on, but looking back this long potty pause was a developmental potty pause for learning to walk. He was starting to stand a little at 10 months and took his first steps at 12 months and perfected walking a little after 14 months. This was exactly when the potty pause began and ended. It was a long one and one we haven't quite recovered from.
We've also come to learn that our son is a very determined and persistent boy with lots of energy. He was a relatively easy younger baby, but has grown into a young boy with a more challenging temperament. I feel like I'm waiting for a window of opportunity to put it all together and throw the diapers out (or into basement storage). EC definitely did not go as expected, but we still benefited from it greatly.
Our son had diaper rash ONE time, when he was 3 months old, before we even started EC. This was when he got his first cold and had diarrhea with it. That was it, no more rash, ever. If you want to prevent diaper rash, use cloth and change them as soon as they are wet and let that butt get some air sometimes too. EC takes care of all of this. Diaper rash is not inevitable.
We also are very aware of our son's elimination patterns because we check him often and have looked for the signs for so long. I sometimes know when he is peeing, but not enough in advance to get him to the potty. We learned very early on that he doesn't pee while asleep. Hint, most babies do NOT pee while asleep, they wake up to pee, which can often explain some of the night wakings when they are young. We were ahead of the game by bringing him to a potty when he woke up. Co-sleeping helped a lot. Ironically I believe that co-sleeping has led to less wet beds over all because of my awareness of his need to pee. I would not have been aware of this need had he been apart from me. The handful of times he's gotten our bed wet I bet in no way amounts to the typical amount of crib sheet soakings.
It's also been a great comfort to me, who is a pretty anxious mother, because I know I'm keeping him as comfortable as a can and trying my best to address his need to pee and poop. Our son as not very troubled by peeing or pooping on him self, but some babies are sensitive to it. If you have a fussy baby and don't know why they are fussing, you should think about whether they might need to pee. It's entirely possible that you have a baby that doesn't like to go in a diaper and then you can be one of those lucky ones who are diaper free much earlier than the rest.
So, I'll keep you posted on our quest to end diaper use. My hope is by the end of the year, but part of me thinks it will take a few more months past then. If we've made little progress by 20 months I'm going to invest in a copy of Oh Crap Potty Training, which I've heard great things about. You can find it at http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)