If you haven't heard much from me, it's because I'm deep in the trenches of life trying to find my way and pay all the bills and maybe, just maybe, save a little money for something later.
I suspect a lot of Americans are deep in the trenches of their lives and I could go on and on about the harsh realities of the American working class and how we don't get paid what we are worth and how there is no job security or health care security and how messed up the system is. But instead I'll just talk about what we are doing and the good things we have going for ourselves and the bad things we are overcoming.
Good things:
-Both of us have jobs, and that's about it. We have some income and are at a low risk of being fired or laid off right now.
-For some reason Brent's job gives out decent health insurance. Not really good, but good enough that we wouldn't totally be completely ruined if something major happened, just mostly ruined.
-Only one of us has student loan debt. Somehow Brent escaped student loan debt, but this might be why he only has an associates degree.
-We have no credit card debt. Woo.
-We both have excellent credit. Somehow we've not been ruined by financial catastrophes yet, this means low interest rates on credit cards and the ability to buy our house.
-Our car is paid off.
-We've been able to avoid daycare costs mostly.
Bad things:
-We both have kind of shitty jobs with low pay, not low enough to quit, but low enough to feel taken advantage of.
-Heath care bills are still annoying. $25 every time you go in is hard, and the nerve damage in my leg is getting worse and I ought to have it looked at and Brent's blood pressure is often high but who has the time to see a doctor... I guess we'll go next month.
-Neither of us are using our college education, both our jobs require a high school diploma, and trust me, we've looked for alternatives.
-I don't know how people get by without credit cards, we wouldn't be able to buy much without them, we need to be able to put off paying for stuff for a few weeks to make sure we have enough in the bank. Luckily we've always been able to pay it off in full for the last two years.
-We wouldn't be able to afford our house without the renters. If they leave and we can't get anyone else in there or they stop paying, we are screwed in a few months.
-We really can't afford a second car, but would get a cheap one if Brent needed it for a new job or something.
-I fear we'll let almost anyone watch our kid at the odd hours we need childcare. It's a total pipe dream if you think you can really sit down and hand select the best care for your kid. Luckily so far, it's been fine.
And sometimes I fear that this is how it will be for the rest of my days, just trying to slowly get slightly ahead only to have something happen to be back at square one again. But we won't always have small children and maybe just maybe someday we will have decent jobs or even slightly better jobs.
We have dreams, we have desires. But for now we are only working on the sub floor of the foundation; deep in the dirt of those dreams. And some days I think that the reality is that this is where we will be stuck. Trust me, we are working hard. Hard work only pays off so well.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
One Whole Year of Breastfeeding
Long before I got pregnant I read that the CDC recommended 2 years of breastfeeding as a minimum. It seemed to be a very legit source, so I declared then that I would breastfeed each of my kids for at least two years. Then I heard a bunch of breastfeeding horror stories, stuff I had never heard of before. I was so naive about how much people have to struggle sometimes to breastfeed and how so many things in our society undermine a women's ability to breastfeed. And I was freaked out all during my pregnancy about it and my ability to do it. Luckily I had good support for it and I remember the first time he latched on to me, probably less than a handful of minutes after his birth and the first thought that went to my head was, "I'm doing it! I'm really doing it right now!" I had been dreaming of breastfeeding for years and I was now actually doing it. It was amazing and luckily we were both able to keep it up with just a few bumps in the road.
My son is now one year and five days old, which means for the last 5 days I have been an extended breast feeder. I personally don't really like the term. I mean the CDC tells us to breastfeed for two years, so shouldn't anything past two years really be the start of anything we should call extended breastfeeding?
I believe this next year will be when a different sort of struggle will begin. This last year I have proved that I don't have supply issues, or any allergy issues or really any issues with the whole function of my breasts. But now I am nursing a toddler. Nursing a toddler a lot. There isn't much difference in the amount he is getting from me now that he is a year old. And the nutritional benefits are still the same, in fact they can be even better now in toddlerhood.
But the info that most people get about nursing past a year is just awful. And so few people do it. I was almost in a minority at six months, now I'm in a super minority. If I make it to two years, I'll be in an even smaller minority.
The fact is that breast milk is a super food. If you have a doctor that tells you anything else, he doesn't support breastfeeding. The only nutrient it doesn't give you enough of is vitamin D. And that's because we all just don't spend as much time in the sun as our ancestors did. But there are some excellent vitamin D supplements. An adult, if they could get a hold of enough breast milk, could survive on breast milk alone. I'm not recommending it, but it would be possible.
There have definitely been times when I've been annoyed while breastfeeding, but my thought has always been, "what would the alternative be?" And the alternative, when I think of it, is always harder and more frustrating. Denying a nursing session to my son means I would need to give him something else. Before a year, the only other option, really, is formula, which needs to be bought, and mixed, and then a bottle needs to be washed, and then there is eventually trash to throw out. Much harder than nursing my son, even if he is kicking me or pulling my hair.
Now that he's a year, I could give him whole cow's milk, but again, this means buying the milk, filling up a container, possibly warming it up, making sure he finishes it before it would go bad, or dumping out what he doesn't drink so he doesn't accidentally drink spoiled milk, washing the container, and eventually throwing out the milk container. Way harder than nursing him. I could also try to increase his solid food intake and give him water, but this again might possible mean spoon-feeding him, which I have zero desire to do, not to mention the clean up.
Also he would lose the awesome anti-bodies and easy to digest properties of breast milk. Meaning I might have to deal with a sick baby or a constipated baby. Which means I might have to go to the doctor and buy medicine or prune juice or miss work to take care of him more often.
So really, no matter how hard or annoying breastfeeding has ever gotten, it doesn't compare to the annoyingness and difficulty of not breastfeeding. Because you can't NOT feed your kid. Even if he's pulling on my glasses or biting or taking little sips and being very distracted, breastfeeding at this point really is just taking out my breast and putting the baby near it. No cleaning up, no prep. Pumping adds a few more steps, but dealing with pumped breast milk is usally easier than formula and maybe a little harder than cow's milk, but it's nutritionally superior, so I think it's worth pumping even after a year.
But still, I have some anxiety about it, because it just isn't done very often in the US. I still plan on nursing in public and feeding mostly on demand. And breastfeeding has helped tremendously with my weight loss, I have little desire to reduce the number of feedings. I haven't gotten any negative comments about nursing yet, just a couple weird looks. But mostly it has all been positive when people notice me nursing my baby. I have fears that this won't be the case when I'm nursing my one year old and possibly my two year old.
But I am strong and very stubborn, so I think even if I do get some negativity, I will power through. No amount of pressure will cause me to stuff my baby full of solids and/or cow's milk. I hope.
So here we go, embarking on the next year, possibly the last year of breastfeeding Cedric. I'm leaving it up in the air after he turns two. If I want to wean, then I will, if I don't want to wean, then I won't. Possibly a future pregnancy will decide this all for us. Though I've heard stories of people nursing all the way through pregnancy (supply usually dries up at 15 weeks or so).
Wish me luck, if I make it, I will be one of the few with a nursing two-year-old.
My son is now one year and five days old, which means for the last 5 days I have been an extended breast feeder. I personally don't really like the term. I mean the CDC tells us to breastfeed for two years, so shouldn't anything past two years really be the start of anything we should call extended breastfeeding?
I believe this next year will be when a different sort of struggle will begin. This last year I have proved that I don't have supply issues, or any allergy issues or really any issues with the whole function of my breasts. But now I am nursing a toddler. Nursing a toddler a lot. There isn't much difference in the amount he is getting from me now that he is a year old. And the nutritional benefits are still the same, in fact they can be even better now in toddlerhood.
But the info that most people get about nursing past a year is just awful. And so few people do it. I was almost in a minority at six months, now I'm in a super minority. If I make it to two years, I'll be in an even smaller minority.
The fact is that breast milk is a super food. If you have a doctor that tells you anything else, he doesn't support breastfeeding. The only nutrient it doesn't give you enough of is vitamin D. And that's because we all just don't spend as much time in the sun as our ancestors did. But there are some excellent vitamin D supplements. An adult, if they could get a hold of enough breast milk, could survive on breast milk alone. I'm not recommending it, but it would be possible.
There have definitely been times when I've been annoyed while breastfeeding, but my thought has always been, "what would the alternative be?" And the alternative, when I think of it, is always harder and more frustrating. Denying a nursing session to my son means I would need to give him something else. Before a year, the only other option, really, is formula, which needs to be bought, and mixed, and then a bottle needs to be washed, and then there is eventually trash to throw out. Much harder than nursing my son, even if he is kicking me or pulling my hair.
Now that he's a year, I could give him whole cow's milk, but again, this means buying the milk, filling up a container, possibly warming it up, making sure he finishes it before it would go bad, or dumping out what he doesn't drink so he doesn't accidentally drink spoiled milk, washing the container, and eventually throwing out the milk container. Way harder than nursing him. I could also try to increase his solid food intake and give him water, but this again might possible mean spoon-feeding him, which I have zero desire to do, not to mention the clean up.
Also he would lose the awesome anti-bodies and easy to digest properties of breast milk. Meaning I might have to deal with a sick baby or a constipated baby. Which means I might have to go to the doctor and buy medicine or prune juice or miss work to take care of him more often.
So really, no matter how hard or annoying breastfeeding has ever gotten, it doesn't compare to the annoyingness and difficulty of not breastfeeding. Because you can't NOT feed your kid. Even if he's pulling on my glasses or biting or taking little sips and being very distracted, breastfeeding at this point really is just taking out my breast and putting the baby near it. No cleaning up, no prep. Pumping adds a few more steps, but dealing with pumped breast milk is usally easier than formula and maybe a little harder than cow's milk, but it's nutritionally superior, so I think it's worth pumping even after a year.
But still, I have some anxiety about it, because it just isn't done very often in the US. I still plan on nursing in public and feeding mostly on demand. And breastfeeding has helped tremendously with my weight loss, I have little desire to reduce the number of feedings. I haven't gotten any negative comments about nursing yet, just a couple weird looks. But mostly it has all been positive when people notice me nursing my baby. I have fears that this won't be the case when I'm nursing my one year old and possibly my two year old.
But I am strong and very stubborn, so I think even if I do get some negativity, I will power through. No amount of pressure will cause me to stuff my baby full of solids and/or cow's milk. I hope.
So here we go, embarking on the next year, possibly the last year of breastfeeding Cedric. I'm leaving it up in the air after he turns two. If I want to wean, then I will, if I don't want to wean, then I won't. Possibly a future pregnancy will decide this all for us. Though I've heard stories of people nursing all the way through pregnancy (supply usually dries up at 15 weeks or so).
Wish me luck, if I make it, I will be one of the few with a nursing two-year-old.
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