My kid is still totally on a normal spectrum of verbal skills, but he still rarely combines more than a couple words and mostly prefers to yell out one word that we understand maybe 65% of the time. This of course was not what I was expecting by the time he was two. He's also a kid that only sometimes responds back to a question. He's a thinker, he needs long pauses, he chooses his words carefully. He's like his dad.
It believe it delays everything else. Because I rarely have any idea what is going on in his head. He's hard to read sometimes. I often don't know what he wants or needs because he can't quite tell me it or chooses not to. I can't negotiate with him. It's hard to know if he is even understanding the limits I am setting and enforcing. Does he really know what "not safe" means now? He doesn't say it, he doesn't say anything like, "ok," or really anything when I say stuff like this to him.
In stead he shows understanding in his actions, he seems to kind of get about not going in the street because he doesn't go in the street anymore when we are at the park. He kind of gets the potty because he often goes in the potty when we are home. But dear lord will he ever say, "I need to go potty, mama, help!" He says, "potty," as he runs for the potty, but only if he's bottomless. He says nothing, otherwise, and I haven't had the energy to jump over the pants hurdle yet. And I have a feeling I've now made it incredibly hard on myself for putting it off for so long.
Anyway, I feel stuck, unable to change anything without knowing more about what's going on in his head. And OMG the things you guys post about what your toddler says... My first thought is usually, "my life would probably be less hectic if my kid could say stuff like that to me." For now a lot of it is a mystery. I never got any of those supposed baby signals down, because I swear they weren't there... it was either happy or screaming, there was no subtle differences. The only thing he seemed to need was nursing, that took care of everything, there wasn't anything left that he cared about.
I'm seriously skeptical about these baby cues, because I sure didn't notice much of them. And I work with humans, I pick up on stuff, I'm not unobservant to human behavior. And don't get me started on potty cues... they are super subtle in my kid and I swear mostly not there. We had to do it all on timing, because timing was all we had.
And the thing is I don't think this lack of talking is going to change, I think he will be somewhat of a mystery my whole life. It's a personality trait. It comes from his dad big time. My husband has been sick for days before he actually mentions it. I've slowly gotten better at picking up on his cues, but he'd mostly still not talk about it even if I did notice something off. I've grown to like the mystery though, I always find out something interesting when he does talk.
I think my son will continue to challenge everything I thought I knew. Because a lot of how I wanted to parent was all about open communication and stuff like that. I don't think that's going to work out like I had planned. I don't think my son is actually going to have the conversations I imagine I would have someday with him. He will someday, yes, talk eloquently and intelligently. But I think part of him will always be hidden from me. I don't think he will share so much with me. Even if I am the most warm and open and loving and approachable mom there is. I think this is just who he is. And I kind of need to come to terms with that. He could surprise me. He could come home from his first day of school and tell me all about it, but I think instead he will say, "it was good." Perhaps this all comes from is jovial spirit. He might just have little to complain about and few problems to bring my way. He might just be easy. A late bloomer, but easy in the long run. I'm betting I worry about him very little as a teenager.
