OK. For whatever reason I've heard this phrase a lot: "Correlation does not mean causation."
And as a psychology major who had to learn about research methods in EVERY SINGLE CLASS, I must speak up about this.
First of all, yes, correlation does not automatically mean that one item correlated with another caused the other. But it doesn't automatically mean there is no causation at hand. It means we have to look critically at the data and use other studies and repeat studies to really find out what is going on here. ONE study alone is never enough to prove anything.
You can't always set up a study to prove causation because there are often ethical guidelines that get in the way. Or you might be looking at historical data and cannot set it up to prove causation.
For instance people who are taller tend to also be heavier. And people who are heavier tend to also be taller. But gaining weight doesn't make you taller. But getting taller tends to make you gain weight. But then again we all know someone who is much taller than us, but who weighs less than us, and sometimes we are surprised that someone so short can weigh so much. Height and weight are correlated, but there's also some causation going on and some other factors too.
This is how it is for almost everything. Nothing is a one-to-one kind of a thing. We need to be critical of correlational studies.
BUT it does not mean that we ignore correlations simply because they can't prove causation all by themselves. They are important. And if they show a correlation between two things, we need to investigate further, especially when they don't make sense. But simply saying "correlation doesn't prove causation" seems just dismissive to me. It could be a fluke, there could be a third variable we need to look at, and yes, it could be that one is causing the other.
It's important to not jump to conclusions over ONE study. It's also important to not ignore the overwhelming evidence for something shown in many studies. Both are bad ideas.
Magazines are probably the worst at jumping to conclusions about one study. Some newspaper articles are also bad. Some study comes out and journalists jump at it declaring something silly. It's important to go to the actual study. I read so many research papers as an undergrad. A good research paper will talk about the limitations of the study and about the possibilities of other things going on contradictory to what the data shows. Nothing is ever cut and dry.
So don't read too much into one study and also don't automatically dismiss a study either. The more studies, the better. There are always going to be studies that end up showing some kind of a fluke that goes against the norm, this is why they need to be repeated and why we all need to keep an open and a critical mind.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
My Love/Hate Relationship with the Pacifier
I have said before that I wish I had never used a pacifier. Mostly because I started using one so early, and used it going against my gut feeling. I have now learned that babies don't comfort nurse. They get comfort from nursing, but you can't over-nurse a baby. Your breasts will not become pacifiers. Baby will suck as much as he needs and even a light sucking is fine. Quick nursing sessions are fine, just like we sometimes get quick drinks of water.
Will people PLEASE stop telling mothers with very young babies things like, "Well, you don't want to become a pacifier!" Let's worry about limiting nursing for toddlers, not newborns. Newborns cannot be given ENOUGH breast milk. It is totally normal for a newborn to nurse during all of it's waking and some of it's sleeping time. You cannot over-breastfeed a baby. Your boobs figure shit like that out. If a mother of a six-month-old is wanting a break, then that is when you bring up pacifiers. Not with a baby that is days or weeks or hours old. Limiting nursing can seriously screw up your supply in those first few months.
With that being said. I also like the pacifier sometimes. It is a lifesaver during car trips. I can't nurse while driving. I also can't nurse when I'm not around. And since you can over bottle feed a baby, when I'm not around, the pacifier is good for him to suck on when boob is not an option.
At first the pacifier fell out a lot. And I was totally fine with that. I got really annoyed when people would hold the pacifier in his mouth. If he doesn't want it, then let him drop it. Sure it gets dirty, but pacifiers are something you can wash. We had a tether when he was a bit older, but it only held certain pacifiers... and it turns out our boy is picky about his pacifiers, no matter how much we try, he will only take the Avent Soothie pacifier. The tether doesn't fit this kind, and frankly a tether can be dangerous. But we don't really leave our baby unattended anyway, so I was OK with using one in a restaurant, for instance.
There was a period of time when we really had to make sure we had a pacifier with us, or we were in for hell. This is when I really started to hate them, I felt dependent on them. Baby would scream if he didn't have one. It turns out it was just a phase and slowly he has become less interested in them. I have even been known to take them out of his mouth when he is playing and he doesn't put up any fight.
I'm guessing we will slowly lose the pacifiers we have and sometime in the next year or so he won't want them, but I could be wrong.
But I gotta say, once your baby likes them, I really don't understand people trying to artificially get their children to give them up. Seems like a lot of work that might totally backfire, and I'm not sure there is much gain. Some kids are very oral and like to suck more than others. This is a need of theirs and trying to get them to stop sucking on things will probably mean this need will be filled in other places that might be worse or more prolonged. Plus I'm all for letting kids reach developmental milestones on their own. Some kids walk at 7 months, others don't do it until 18 months, both are normal and have little to do with what the parent does. Some kids refuse a pacifier altogether and others don't give it up until 3 years of age. Just like weaning from the breast, it could be 2 years, it could be 5 years. We should all just ignore those that say thing like, "he's still doing that?" or "he's not doing that yet?" These people are not helpful or supportive; seek new people.
He rarely uses a pacifier when I'm around, because I use my boobs instead. So the pacifier has become a boob substitute and I'm OK with that. It makes him happy and it makes things easier for dad and babysitters.
My advice (which is totally unsolicited) is to not use a pacifier if possible (hold your ground if you don't want to use one, it is possible to not use one), but if you do use one (which is fine, even if you swore you wouldn't), do not sweat it so much. And if you are breastfeeding, wait until your breastfeeding relationship is going well (usually one to three months). Don't do like I did and give in to the pressure, baby needs to nurse A LOT and baby can't nurse with a pacifier in his mouth. He also can't nurse in a hospital nursery, or while swaddled in a bassinet across the room! But that's another issue altogether.
Will people PLEASE stop telling mothers with very young babies things like, "Well, you don't want to become a pacifier!" Let's worry about limiting nursing for toddlers, not newborns. Newborns cannot be given ENOUGH breast milk. It is totally normal for a newborn to nurse during all of it's waking and some of it's sleeping time. You cannot over-breastfeed a baby. Your boobs figure shit like that out. If a mother of a six-month-old is wanting a break, then that is when you bring up pacifiers. Not with a baby that is days or weeks or hours old. Limiting nursing can seriously screw up your supply in those first few months.
With that being said. I also like the pacifier sometimes. It is a lifesaver during car trips. I can't nurse while driving. I also can't nurse when I'm not around. And since you can over bottle feed a baby, when I'm not around, the pacifier is good for him to suck on when boob is not an option.
At first the pacifier fell out a lot. And I was totally fine with that. I got really annoyed when people would hold the pacifier in his mouth. If he doesn't want it, then let him drop it. Sure it gets dirty, but pacifiers are something you can wash. We had a tether when he was a bit older, but it only held certain pacifiers... and it turns out our boy is picky about his pacifiers, no matter how much we try, he will only take the Avent Soothie pacifier. The tether doesn't fit this kind, and frankly a tether can be dangerous. But we don't really leave our baby unattended anyway, so I was OK with using one in a restaurant, for instance.
There was a period of time when we really had to make sure we had a pacifier with us, or we were in for hell. This is when I really started to hate them, I felt dependent on them. Baby would scream if he didn't have one. It turns out it was just a phase and slowly he has become less interested in them. I have even been known to take them out of his mouth when he is playing and he doesn't put up any fight.
I'm guessing we will slowly lose the pacifiers we have and sometime in the next year or so he won't want them, but I could be wrong.
But I gotta say, once your baby likes them, I really don't understand people trying to artificially get their children to give them up. Seems like a lot of work that might totally backfire, and I'm not sure there is much gain. Some kids are very oral and like to suck more than others. This is a need of theirs and trying to get them to stop sucking on things will probably mean this need will be filled in other places that might be worse or more prolonged. Plus I'm all for letting kids reach developmental milestones on their own. Some kids walk at 7 months, others don't do it until 18 months, both are normal and have little to do with what the parent does. Some kids refuse a pacifier altogether and others don't give it up until 3 years of age. Just like weaning from the breast, it could be 2 years, it could be 5 years. We should all just ignore those that say thing like, "he's still doing that?" or "he's not doing that yet?" These people are not helpful or supportive; seek new people.
He rarely uses a pacifier when I'm around, because I use my boobs instead. So the pacifier has become a boob substitute and I'm OK with that. It makes him happy and it makes things easier for dad and babysitters.
My advice (which is totally unsolicited) is to not use a pacifier if possible (hold your ground if you don't want to use one, it is possible to not use one), but if you do use one (which is fine, even if you swore you wouldn't), do not sweat it so much. And if you are breastfeeding, wait until your breastfeeding relationship is going well (usually one to three months). Don't do like I did and give in to the pressure, baby needs to nurse A LOT and baby can't nurse with a pacifier in his mouth. He also can't nurse in a hospital nursery, or while swaddled in a bassinet across the room! But that's another issue altogether.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Being a Pioneer
One day, not too long ago, I said to my husband, "we are pioneers." We are determined to do things differently while raising our kids. We are certainly going to do things differently than our parents did. We are determined to seek out the best way, not just the popular way. We question everything, we try to follow our gut.
It is so hard being a pioneer. It's not like no one has done what we are doing before, but very few people we know are planning on doing what we are. Though some things are changing and we see a rise in people interested in some things we are doing. For instance I hear a lot of talk about EC and extended breast-feeding, and baby-led weaning, and many articles coming out against punishment, bribes, and reward systems.
The thing is, when you are a pioneer, even if you've thought things over a lot, you are often filled with doubt about your choices. And you spend a lot of time feeling alone. Also, I really don't know if all of my choices are the best, I have not deluded myself into thinking I am perfect. I have already made many mistakes.
And I'm not really completely against things. As long as people are informed about the choices they are making and aren't making them because someone else is insisting on them. What I hate more than anything is people not giving parents choice, whether it's about how they give birth or how they pick a school or what they choose to feed their child. There is ALWAYS a choice, and doctors or books that say that there is only one way are dangerous. I have all but thrown out some of the baby books I have. I get so pissed off at their potty training sections, one of the places they seem to act like there isn't a choice.
My favorite books have been the ones about punishment-free discipline, they really do give you a bunch of good choices and I feel like they can work with every kind of family. They are very empowering. They make me look back on my life and remember the stuff that didn't work, that just drove a wedge between myself and my parents. I want better for my children.
Being a pioneer means there is little guidance you can get from others. Almost no one in the country can tell you what to expect from breastfeeding a 2 or 3 year old. Almost no one can tell you what to expect from starting EC part time from 4 months of age. Almost no one can tell you how to let go and have faith that your child is developing at the rate and way that he needs to develop. I have a baby book that is divide into SINGLE months of development, I have found it completely useless when trying to learn about development. Babies simply do not develop on that tight of a schedule. And we live in a society that does not trust children, that thinks we need to shape our children. I have more faith in the human race than that. I have zero fear that my son will grow into a psychopath. He will grow up to be who he needs to be.
Being a pioneer often makes me feel I have nothing in common with other parents. We have been pretty chill about our baby and I pick up on the anxiety of other parents. I want to tell then to step back and enjoy, to stop seeing it as this HUGE job they have. I think that if you aren't enjoying it, you either need to change what you are doing or change your attitude. Not always easy. We are chill parents, but both of us have gone to the other one saying things like, "I can't do this anymore!" Usually just the acknowledgment that it is hard is enough to make us feel better, then we either change a course of action, like quitting a job, or we change our attitude a bit, realizing that most kids his age in this country have never used a potty.
Questioning everything and taking a possibly less-popular course of action based on evidence and gut feeling seems to be a rare but growing trend in raising children. It's amazing how much you have to fight for it sometimes. The simplest thing like refusing a vitamin-K shot became this HUGE deal at the hospital; a battle I lost and regret losing. But I won some battles too.
Being a pioneer often means you have to give up on worrying about what others think of you. You have to rely on your own convictions. I have often had to remind myself that my priorities are with my child and what is best for him, not with what others think or even with the feelings of other parents. I've never been concerned about winning popularity contests. I'd rather do what I thought was right and be seen as crazy then to do something I think is wrong. I'm starting to not care what anyone thinks. If I stay true to myself and my beliefs, then things will be alright. I've always been outspoken, and it has caused me some trouble, but it is a gift. One I hope to pass along to my kids.
It is so hard being a pioneer. It's not like no one has done what we are doing before, but very few people we know are planning on doing what we are. Though some things are changing and we see a rise in people interested in some things we are doing. For instance I hear a lot of talk about EC and extended breast-feeding, and baby-led weaning, and many articles coming out against punishment, bribes, and reward systems.
The thing is, when you are a pioneer, even if you've thought things over a lot, you are often filled with doubt about your choices. And you spend a lot of time feeling alone. Also, I really don't know if all of my choices are the best, I have not deluded myself into thinking I am perfect. I have already made many mistakes.
And I'm not really completely against things. As long as people are informed about the choices they are making and aren't making them because someone else is insisting on them. What I hate more than anything is people not giving parents choice, whether it's about how they give birth or how they pick a school or what they choose to feed their child. There is ALWAYS a choice, and doctors or books that say that there is only one way are dangerous. I have all but thrown out some of the baby books I have. I get so pissed off at their potty training sections, one of the places they seem to act like there isn't a choice.
My favorite books have been the ones about punishment-free discipline, they really do give you a bunch of good choices and I feel like they can work with every kind of family. They are very empowering. They make me look back on my life and remember the stuff that didn't work, that just drove a wedge between myself and my parents. I want better for my children.
Being a pioneer means there is little guidance you can get from others. Almost no one in the country can tell you what to expect from breastfeeding a 2 or 3 year old. Almost no one can tell you what to expect from starting EC part time from 4 months of age. Almost no one can tell you how to let go and have faith that your child is developing at the rate and way that he needs to develop. I have a baby book that is divide into SINGLE months of development, I have found it completely useless when trying to learn about development. Babies simply do not develop on that tight of a schedule. And we live in a society that does not trust children, that thinks we need to shape our children. I have more faith in the human race than that. I have zero fear that my son will grow into a psychopath. He will grow up to be who he needs to be.
Being a pioneer often makes me feel I have nothing in common with other parents. We have been pretty chill about our baby and I pick up on the anxiety of other parents. I want to tell then to step back and enjoy, to stop seeing it as this HUGE job they have. I think that if you aren't enjoying it, you either need to change what you are doing or change your attitude. Not always easy. We are chill parents, but both of us have gone to the other one saying things like, "I can't do this anymore!" Usually just the acknowledgment that it is hard is enough to make us feel better, then we either change a course of action, like quitting a job, or we change our attitude a bit, realizing that most kids his age in this country have never used a potty.
Questioning everything and taking a possibly less-popular course of action based on evidence and gut feeling seems to be a rare but growing trend in raising children. It's amazing how much you have to fight for it sometimes. The simplest thing like refusing a vitamin-K shot became this HUGE deal at the hospital; a battle I lost and regret losing. But I won some battles too.
Being a pioneer often means you have to give up on worrying about what others think of you. You have to rely on your own convictions. I have often had to remind myself that my priorities are with my child and what is best for him, not with what others think or even with the feelings of other parents. I've never been concerned about winning popularity contests. I'd rather do what I thought was right and be seen as crazy then to do something I think is wrong. I'm starting to not care what anyone thinks. If I stay true to myself and my beliefs, then things will be alright. I've always been outspoken, and it has caused me some trouble, but it is a gift. One I hope to pass along to my kids.
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