Only 27 weeks and 5 days to go!

Can you tell I'm anxious to meet my baby?  Some people might tell their children that they had hardly thought about having them until they started trying to conceive/got accidentally knocked up/started the paperwork for adoption/found a baby on the street corner/stole a baby.  I've thought about having a baby for about 8 years.

Eight years puts me at 19 years old.  Much too young for anyone to seriously consider trying to have a baby.  In fact, I'm all for laws preventing people from getting married until both parties are 25.  But I guess I was crazy enough to want one.  But I wasn't crazy enough to actually go about getting pregnant.  I took my pills EVERY DAY.  Some part of me said, "you aren't ready!"  Also, the guys I dated around this time were not about to do that with me.  Thank god we didn't, I dated some crazy freaks. 

Which brings me to my husband, the opposite of a crazy freak; in fact he's scarily sane.  In general he says what he means, does what he says he'll do, and doesn't get upset easily.  Which means I can carry on like a lunatic without bothering him much.  So six months into our relationship when I was crying over the fact that I wanted a baby, he didn't run away screaming.  He continued to date me, even moved in with me and did my dishes. 

I talked with my friends about wanting a baby too, I generally got two different responses.  Either, "babies like totally change your whole life and cost so much and keep you up all night!" Or, "well, throw out your birth control pills and have an "accident." You and Brent will bake beautiful babies and I can knit baby clothes!"  I preferred the ones that plotted with me about how to get pregnant "accidentally."  You can't fight irrationally wanting a baby with rational reasons why you shouldn't want a baby. 

And the reasons for wanting a baby are always irrational.  Think about it.  No one has ever said, "I have all this time on my hands, what can I fill it with, actually I want a 24/7 project, I know, I'll have a baby." No one has ever said, "I have all this extra cash lying around, what should I do with it?  The stock market has been rocky, I know, I'll have a baby."  And I bet very few today say things like, "if I have a baby, I'll have someone to take care of me when I'm old, and an extra kidney in case mine go out." 

A couple weeks into this pregnancy I freaked out and asked Brent, "why did we do this?  Why did we get me pregnant?!"  He said, simply, "your biological clock was ticking and babies are cute!"  I think this reason is good enough.  A few years ago when I asked my dad about having kids he said he highly recommended it, "it's something to do," he said.


My friend's and my plot to get me "accidentally" pregnant were actually harmless conversations that never led anywhere.  Just something to day dream about and never do.  Who hasn't day dreamed about purposefully rear ending that jack-ass that just cut you off.  You can stop in time, usually, but why not imagine what it would be like to really smash up his fucking Audi.  "Officer, he came out of no where, I had no room to stop!"  But we are mature adults who don't do such things.  Well, most of us are.  Well... I am at least! 

So here I sit a good six months away from meeting my first child.  But I feel like I've been waiting for years already.  I can honestly say I'm looking forward to the crying and the many feedings, all the attention you need to given an infant, and working with my husband on how exactly we are going to raise this thing because, hey, it's something to do.