I lost the weight for you, then I gained the weight back for you!

I'd like to say that I gained weight because I left college and wasn't walking everywhere anymore. Or that the pressure of a new full-time job made me eat emotionally.  These all played a roll in how I went from a 155 pound college student into a 196 pound working adult.  But I think the biggest issue was when I stopped taking Adderal. 

When I started college I was 185 pounds.  Sometime during my freshman year I got the diagnosis of ADD.  For real!  I'm not one of those who faked it to get the speed for fun.  College was where it came out in me.  500 seat lecture halls an idiots who chew gum behind you during a test (gum wasn't allowed in high school!) sent me over the edge and I knew I needed help.  A few appointments later they concluded that I definitely had a problem with memory and concentration. 

Call in the stimulants!  Concerta made me feel more crazy and Strattera worked for a while then gave out, eventually Adderal was given to me.  They all suppressed my appetite and by the middle of my sophomore year I was down to 160.  Now I had lost some weight on my own before the aid of stimulants came, I was going to the gym three times a week and walking everywhere.  But the stimulants were the biggest factor. 

I didn't take them on weekends, so I would PIG OUT on weekends, but they suppressed my appetite enough during the week to keep the weight off. 

This really isn't the best way to lose weight, because as soon as you graduate and find you don't need the Adderal anymore, your appetite comes back, with vengeance!  And you gain over 40 pounds. 

It's good I got off the Adderal, because it's not good for your heart in the long term.  But I guess neither is an extra 40 pounds, but I lost it. 

Around March of 2009 I decided to lose weight.  I had tried exercising and not watching what I eat and it didn't work, so I started counting calories.  Let me tell you, counting calories works.  You also have to get some exercise in there, but I mostly went for walks.  Partially I was losing it because I wanted to get pregnant, and at 196 pounds the thought of getting pregnant and gaining even more weight made me feel ill.  My goal was 150 pounds and good weight for my frame.  The wedding in August of 2010 was my deadline.

And I did pretty well.  I made it to 157 according to my husband's forgiving scale (I think it runs low). 

Then I got pregnant.  At my first appointment, around week 5, I was 166 according to the scale at the clinic and 159 according to our home scale.  Not too shabby I thought, we made 166 my pre-pregnancy weight.  Two pounds a month for the first trimester isn't so bad. 

Ha ha!  Then the misnamed "morning sickness" started.  Morning sickness for me really meant, "you will feel like barfing for two months straight unless you eat all the time."  So I ate all the time. 

I was 175 at the clinic by week 8, and 166 at home.  Nine pounds in 8 weeks of pregnancy!  I started weighing myself at home and gained another four pounds by week 11.  Thirteen pounds in 11 weeks!  You don't even need to gain any weight during your first trimester, and if you do they want it to be minimal, like 5 pounds.  Some women even lose weight because they actually barf all day long, instead of just feeling like they will.  Lucky bastards, maybe.  I haven't weight myself since.  I have, however, lost the "morning sickness." 

Which means I don't need to constantly eat to keep from feeling sick.  Unfortunately I'm nearing the second trimester, which is when you really need to gain weight.  They say you can't turn back the clock, you can't lose weight during your second trimester just because you gained too much during your first trimester. 

So, future child of mine, I lost nearly 40 pounds for you, then I anticipate I will gain about 40 pounds for you during your gestation.  You might even say I quit the Adderal for you and gained 40 pounds for you, then lost it, will now gain it again, and will lose it before I gain it again for your future sibling.  Then maybe I can lose the baby weight for good and keep at a stable weight for more than a couple years.  It would help my wardrobe.