Results Usually Correlate to Expectations

The fact that results or outcomes usually reflect the expectations people had from the beginning is something I've been thinking about a lot recently.  It's not something I would have really believed in ten years ago.  I used to think attitude was kind of bullshit.  Now I'm convinced it's really important and everyone can do something about it.

I mean, it even sounds dumb in my head to say, "if you put your mind to it, you can do anything."  That's not exactly what I mean.  There are limits to everything, but these limits can be pushed and can change and are sometimes limits that are worth fighting for.  Desire to do anything is the first step.

Right now I'm getting a lot of feedback about childbirth.  Most of it negative, whether it be from acquaintances or very good friends, everyone seems to think it's painful and disgusting.  Now, I've never experienced it before, but from the videos I've seen and then books I've read, it doesn't seem that bad.  I've also heard that the more painful you think childbirth will be the more painful it will be.  Your expectation of childbirth will be what you experience.  So now's the time to convince myself it's not that bad.  And to try to tune out all the voices around me saying how horrible it is.

Why do people do this?  It's not just giving birth, it seems like it's everything about baby care or raising children.  The majority see it as some horrible thing you have to go through; losing sleep, lots of crying, tantrums, feeding, all of it is awful I am told.  Geez, why did you have kids then?  Then there's the people that go, "kids are great, but... (something terrible about having kids that warns others against having them)"  To me this is horrible, can you imagine this sentence tacked on to anything else you are supposed to love?  "My spouse is great, but... (something horrible about your spouse that warns people against getting married)"  If you went around saying that, people would advise you to get counseling or maybe a trial separation. 

Maybe I'm living it la la land, but I think if there is a problem, you can find a solution so you don't go around warning others about having children.  Whether it's getting help or simply changing your attitude a bit.  I'm pregnant with probably a viable fetus that will grow up into an adult; I'm in this for the long haul.  Telling me how hard it is going to be and how awful only makes me wonder what is wrong with you.  Makes me wonder why you want to discourage a new mother.  The world would be a better place if we had higher expectations about childbirth and children.  Can we please try to think progressively and forwardly and positively when dealing with the new members of our society?

Maybe if we saw raising children as a wonderful thing it would seem a bit more wonderful.