The Three Act Story of Getting Cedric Antibiotics; A Comedy

Act I.

We had a problem.  My son, Cedric, was sick.  Barfing sick, barfing a lot.  Way more than the first time he had a barfing illness.  I called the nurses line through our HCMC clinic and she told me to go the the ER.  Sigh.  I had little interest in going to the ER.  I took a look at him, he was happily playing at the moment and seemed like he would survive avoiding the ER and going to Urgent Care instead.

I called my friend, Manda and asked her accompany me.  My husband was at work.  It was a Friday afternoon, around 2 pm.  We headed to St. Louis Park, which has an all day Urgent Care.  We got in to see the doctor (actually a nurse practitioner) around 3:30.  He looked in his throat and said it was red.  He decided to do a throat culture. We went to the lobby to wait for the test results, Cedric ran around and had a blast, he didn't seem so sick at the moment.  He hadn't thrown up for several hours now, I thought we were all done with vomit.

Turns out he did have strep.  We discussed the options.  Either a shot of antibiotics, or liquid oral antibiotics. I decided on the liquid oral antibiotics.  Mistake ONE, but I wouldn't find that out until later.  I stupidly thought it would be easy to give it to him.  I didn't even think about the fact that his vomiting might come back...

The nurse said he would send the prescription by fax to our preferred pharmacy, which for some damn reason is Target right now. Mistake TWO.  We all headed for Target around 4:10 pm, arrived a bit after 4:30 thinking it was all going to be good.  The classic end to an Act I.

Act II.

Cedric fell asleep in the car on the way to Target.  So I got his stroller out of the hatchback so he could have a comfy place to lay down while we hung out in Target waiting for the prescription.  We were also told to get some Pedialyte and Children's Advil.  He was at risk for dehydration.

Cedric had stripped off his socks at the Urgent Care, which he does often.  He loves to take off his socks and since it was 50 degrees out, I didn't worry too much about it; he had on long pants and a long sleeve shirt.  Why am I telling you this?  Oh that's because...

When I entered Target with my sick toddler laying in his stroller some older random-ass stranger lady came up to me and said, "Aren't your child's feet cold without socks on?"  And then she shook her head very disapprovingly and walked away from me quickly.  The message was clear, "you are horrible for not having socks on your child."

I yelled after her, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"  She, of course did not respond and hurried on in to Target.  I have never had a stranger do something like that to me.  I have gotten comments, but never so mean as that.

What I wanted to say to her: "Look, asshole! You have no idea what I have been through in the last 24 hours, would you like to know?  I've had a vomiting child on my hands, one that vomited several times into my own bed and on to my computer chair and on to the kitchen floor and on to several of me and my husband's clothing items.  I barely slept last night, had to wait a good hour and a half in Urgent Care and found out my son needs antibiotics.  He pulled his socks off about an hour ago and you know what? I guess I didn't think it was super important to get them back on again.  If you would like to take over care of this sick child for the next few days, by all means, take him off my hands.  You force antibiotic down his throat, clean up his vomit, and make sure he doesn't dehydrate!  Clearly you are the expert here!"

It sets a bad tone for the rest of the Target trip.

We picked up some Pedialyte which was hard to find, and got some Children's Advil.  Then we went to see if the prescription had come in yet.  We got this message: "Oh our fax machine is broken, did he send it regular fax or via E-fax?"

Seriously?  "I have no idea."  The pharmacy lady tells me I will need to call my clinic.  "It's an urgent care, I don't have the number!"  She somehow is able to look up a number for the Health Partners St. Louis Park scheduling line.  I try it and get someone to transfer me to urgent care.  I explain the situation and tell them to call in the prescription. "What is the number?"  Oh goddamnit.  "What the number here!" I yell to whoever in the pharmacy can hear me, and we somehow get it to her.

I decide to nurse Cedric a bit, who needs fluids.  He immediately vomits on to Target's floor and my sweater. We clean up the best we can and Manda tracks down an employee who just wipes up the vomit with a paper towel... which makes me wary of Target's floor cleanliness.  Here I was thinking they had some protocol for vomit clean up.  I told her to wash her hands well.  She didn't even have gloves on.

We walk around Target for a while and go back to check.  This time the pharmacy lady says that by some miracle they did get the faxed prescription and that it will be ready in 20 minutes.  Then about 3 minutes later the pharmacy calls my cell phone to tell me that the prescription isn't a legal one, they aren't allowed to fill it.  Somehow the doctor or the clinic messed up the prescription and didn't write it correctly.  W. T. F?!  I have never heard of this happening before.  I basically asked them to fill it anyway, pretty, pretty please?  No.

Then I ask her to call the clinic.  Please can the pharmacy just call the clinic and figure this shit out?  She says, "I'm not going to do that, we are too busy."  Are you kidding me?  So apparently OTHER customers are way more important than me.  I call the appointment line again, which is how I got to urgent care the first time.  This time the woman on the line refuses to connect me to urgent care.  I'm not kidding.  She says they don't have a number, even though I was just connected to their number less than an hour ago.  Instead she transfers me to a nurses line.

I tell my friend, Manda, that we should buy what we have and get out of here, I may very well need to drive all the way back to the clinic to get a written prescription.  As we are checking out and I'm on hold on the nurses line, I start to cry.  My baby needs antibiotics and it seems impossible to get them.  All hope is lost.  A fitting end to Act II.

Act III.

We check out and all head to my car and load everything and everyone into it.  Then someone finally picks up the nurses line and I spew out my horrible tale for a good minute to the nurse.  She takes it seriously and calls urgent care herself.  She says they are going to send it again.

I suddenly realize how hungry I am, It's past 6 pm now and I haven't eaten since lunchtime.  "You want to get Wendy's?" I ask Manda, and she agrees.  Wendy's is just across the street.  We go through the drive-thru and eat in the car, I'm in no shape for public eating. I inhale my food.  We decide to call Target Pharmacy first to see if the prescription is ready before going back in.  I call and I'm lucky, she says the clinic called and confirmed the prescription.  It is ready to pick up.

I literally run into Target while Manda watches the car and Cedric and get the goddamn antibiotics.  We all head to my house. I get the first dose into Cedric and 50 minutes later he vomits.  I think it is good enough.

Afterward:

After all of that, Cedric ended up barely drinking any fluids that evening and overnight.  He refused my breast in the morning and immediately threw up his morning antibiotic dose.  I had to go to work for a few hours in the morning.  Talking to Brent on the phone around 9:30 am I learn that he is refusing everything and is just sleeping now.  Brent hasn't been able to get another dose of antibiotics into him.  I tell him to take Cedric to the ER at Children's, which is very close to our house.  Brent agrees and I spend the next hour freaking out at work, not getting much done and waiting for news from Brent.

Luckily Cedric got in right away and was given a shot of antibiotics and some anti-nausea medicine.  I get word of this at 10:30 am and I am finally able to relax.  By the time I get to the ER he is being discharged.

The End.