My Son Chooses His Words Carefully

I feel the need to write a blog about my son's language development, or lack thereof.

I swing back and forth between being content and being frustrated and wondering if I did something wrong.

We have what you could call a "late talker."  Though at 16 months, it's still way too early to be worrying about any kind of disability.

A book Brent got from the library says we should only worry if he doesn't have at least 15 words by 18 months.  Our doctor says she won't really worry until 24 months.  And my husband was a late talker too (I was an early talker).  So chances are he is totally fine and is just content to not talk right now.  I will be blown away if he has 15 words by 18 months, because right now he has maybe three words and maybe two signs.

He has said other words, but not consistently   Like way back when he was 11 months I swore I heard him say "kitty" and "baby."  But then I really haven't heard them since then.  It's like he practiced those and now he's done.  And although I've been signing my ass off sometimes, he really has only picked up "milk" and "more" and he usually chooses to not use them.  Pointing and grunting or screaming or going "muh muh muh muh," is what he does.

His one word right now is, "uh oh." "Mama" has been around for a while, but I really don't hear it that much. "Dada" is a rarity.

It's enough to make a first time parent go mad.  We've actually been decently calm about it.  It creeps up into my anxiety every once in a while.  I'm so happy to hear about ya'll's stories about all the words and signs your toddlers have, but it's shocking to a mother who's son rarely puts a couple letters together.  I sometimes think, "what did they do differently?"

I also get shocked when I hear about your little one's teething molars because my son still only has four teeth, but teeth development is a little more blame-proof.  I don't think being a better mother pushes those teeth through faster.

Cedric does understand a lot.  This is a big reason why our doctor told us that he's totally normal.  He follows simple commands.  He'll give me a hug when I ask for one, he'll put stuff in the trash when I ask him, he knows to be upset when I tell him "no" or that he "can't have that."  He also is starting to get sneaky.  He knows that I can only enforce rules when I catch him in the act.  He often looks over his shoulder to see if I am watching.  He's a smart boy.

What's really crazy is that talking kids actually annoy me a great deal sometimes.  There are three little girls who live below us in our duplex and when warm weather comes I can hear them talking.  And they say the craziest things, and they are loud, and they sometimes run around repeating things over and over and over and you just want to yell at them to shut up, but you don't because you're an adult who has hopefully learned to act like one.

And I've babysat this one four year old a few times and man... the questions that come out of his mouth are non-stop... and crazy questions that are hard to answer, specific questions that I don't have answers to, and the questions keep coming and you want him to be inquisitive, but instead you're dumbfounded and feel like there should be some manual for answering the types of questions that kids ask. One of the kids that lives below us asked me one day, "what are those." "Groceries," I said, because they were groceries.  "What are they for?"  Uh.... what do you MEAN what are they for?  They are groceries... doesn't the fact that they are groceries answer what they are for?  I don't know what you want me to explain!  What kind of a question is that?  Kids ask weird questions, is what I am saying.

So maybe it is a blessing that he is not yet talking.  And the real reason is probably that he takes after his father, who chooses his words carefully and never says anything frivolous.  My husband does not waste words goddamnit, each one has a good purpose.  It's either something I need to know, something to make me laugh, or something to make me feel good.  No meaningless jabber about his day, or at least very little.  And I'm the opposite, almost, I will talk and talk and talk and tell him a whole bunch of meaningless things he doesn't really need to know, just to make conversation and entertainment and to process my thoughts.  He says he enjoys listening, so we both win.   

So perhaps my son is internally processing his thoughts and someday he will open his mouth and say something very profound and thought provoking.  I guess I'll keep you posted.