In The Trenches

If you haven't heard much from me, it's because I'm deep in the trenches of life trying to find my way and pay all the bills and maybe, just maybe, save a little money for something later. 

I suspect a lot of Americans are deep in the trenches of their lives and I could go on and on about the harsh realities of the American working class and how we don't get paid what we are worth and how there is no job security or health care security and how messed up the system is.  But instead I'll just talk about what we are doing and the good things we have going for ourselves and the bad things we are overcoming.

Good things:

-Both of us have jobs, and that's about it.  We have some income and are at a low risk of being fired or laid off right now.

-For some reason Brent's job gives out decent health insurance.  Not really good, but good enough that we wouldn't totally be completely ruined if something major happened, just mostly ruined. 

-Only one of us has student loan debt.  Somehow Brent escaped student loan debt, but this might be why he only has an associates degree.

-We have no credit card debt.  Woo.

-We both have excellent credit.  Somehow we've not been ruined by financial catastrophes yet, this means low interest rates on credit cards and the ability to buy our house.

-Our car is paid off.

-We've been able to avoid daycare costs mostly.

Bad things:

-We both have kind of shitty jobs with low pay, not low enough to quit, but low enough to feel taken advantage of. 

-Heath care bills are still annoying. $25 every time you go in is hard, and the nerve damage in my leg is getting worse and I ought to have it looked at and Brent's blood pressure is often high but who has the time to see a doctor... I guess we'll go next month. 

-Neither of us are using our college education, both our jobs require a high school diploma, and trust me, we've looked for alternatives.

-I don't know how people get by without credit cards, we wouldn't be able to buy much without them, we need to be able to put off paying for stuff for a few weeks to make sure we have enough in the bank.  Luckily we've always been able to pay it off in full for the last two years.  

-We wouldn't be able to afford our house without the renters.  If they leave and we can't get anyone else in there or they stop paying, we are screwed in a few months.

-We really can't afford a second car, but would get a cheap one if Brent needed it for a new job or something.

-I fear we'll let almost anyone watch our kid at the odd hours we need childcare.  It's a total pipe dream if you think you can really sit down and hand select the best care for your kid.  Luckily so far, it's been fine. 

And sometimes I fear that this is how it will be for the rest of my days, just trying to slowly get slightly ahead only to have something happen to be back at square one again.  But we won't always have small children and maybe just maybe someday we will have decent jobs or even slightly better jobs. 

We have dreams, we have desires. But for now we are only working on the sub floor of the foundation; deep in the dirt of those dreams.  And some days I think that the reality is that this is where we will be stuck.  Trust me, we are working hard.  Hard work only pays off so well.