I have said before that I wish I had never used a pacifier. Mostly because I started using one so early, and used it going against my gut feeling. I have now learned that babies don't comfort nurse. They get comfort from nursing, but you can't over-nurse a baby. Your breasts will not become pacifiers. Baby will suck as much as he needs and even a light sucking is fine. Quick nursing sessions are fine, just like we sometimes get quick drinks of water.
Will people PLEASE stop telling mothers with very young babies things like, "Well, you don't want to become a pacifier!" Let's worry about limiting nursing for toddlers, not newborns. Newborns cannot be given ENOUGH breast milk. It is totally normal for a newborn to nurse during all of it's waking and some of it's sleeping time. You cannot over-breastfeed a baby. Your boobs figure shit like that out. If a mother of a six-month-old is wanting a break, then that is when you bring up pacifiers. Not with a baby that is days or weeks or hours old. Limiting nursing can seriously screw up your supply in those first few months.
With that being said. I also like the pacifier sometimes. It is a lifesaver during car trips. I can't nurse while driving. I also can't nurse when I'm not around. And since you can over bottle feed a baby, when I'm not around, the pacifier is good for him to suck on when boob is not an option.
At first the pacifier fell out a lot. And I was totally fine with that. I got really annoyed when people would hold the pacifier in his mouth. If he doesn't want it, then let him drop it. Sure it gets dirty, but pacifiers are something you can wash. We had a tether when he was a bit older, but it only held certain pacifiers... and it turns out our boy is picky about his pacifiers, no matter how much we try, he will only take the Avent Soothie pacifier. The tether doesn't fit this kind, and frankly a tether can be dangerous. But we don't really leave our baby unattended anyway, so I was OK with using one in a restaurant, for instance.
There was a period of time when we really had to make sure we had a pacifier with us, or we were in for hell. This is when I really started to hate them, I felt dependent on them. Baby would scream if he didn't have one. It turns out it was just a phase and slowly he has become less interested in them. I have even been known to take them out of his mouth when he is playing and he doesn't put up any fight.
I'm guessing we will slowly lose the pacifiers we have and sometime in the next year or so he won't want them, but I could be wrong.
But I gotta say, once your baby likes them, I really don't understand people trying to artificially get their children to give them up. Seems like a lot of work that might totally backfire, and I'm not sure there is much gain. Some kids are very oral and like to suck more than others. This is a need of theirs and trying to get them to stop sucking on things will probably mean this need will be filled in other places that might be worse or more prolonged. Plus I'm all for letting kids reach developmental milestones on their own. Some kids walk at 7 months, others don't do it until 18 months, both are normal and have little to do with what the parent does. Some kids refuse a pacifier altogether and others don't give it up until 3 years of age. Just like weaning from the breast, it could be 2 years, it could be 5 years. We should all just ignore those that say thing like, "he's still doing that?" or "he's not doing that yet?" These people are not helpful or supportive; seek new people.
He rarely uses a pacifier when I'm around, because I use my boobs instead. So the pacifier has become a boob substitute and I'm OK with that. It makes him happy and it makes things easier for dad and babysitters.
My advice (which is totally unsolicited) is to not use a pacifier if possible (hold your ground if you don't want to use one, it is possible to not use one), but if you do use one (which is fine, even if you swore you wouldn't), do not sweat it so much. And if you are breastfeeding, wait until your breastfeeding relationship is going well (usually one to three months). Don't do like I did and give in to the pressure, baby needs to nurse A LOT and baby can't nurse with a pacifier in his mouth. He also can't nurse in a hospital nursery, or while swaddled in a bassinet across the room! But that's another issue altogether.
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