I guess I am lucky that I am not very modest. I wasn't taught to feel ashamed of my breasts. At the hospital I wore my gown backwards and open in front. My breasts were always out. I covered them up when certain people visited or we were taking photos, because if I'm not breastfeeding, I don't want just anyone to be able to see them, but otherwise they hung there for easy access for my newborn baby. Plus they hurt and any fabric on them made it worse, so I kept the fabric off of them.
I had to assure some people that I didn't care if they saw them, they were food producers now, maybe before they were for sexual arousal, but not anymore. Sex was a good six weeks away and one of the farthest things from my mind immediately following the birth.
The first time I nursed in public I did it in my car, mostly because we were so new to it, I was maybe only a week or two post partum, and we were still getting the hang of it, I needed less distraction, and the weather wasn't too bad. I nursed at my coworker's wedding reception when he was 13 days old, and I kind of tried to use a scarf to cover him, but I found it difficult. I really didn't want strangers ogling my boobs at that time.
I found some private rooms that were nice for nursing in the Galleria, but did not find one in Southdale, so I nursed on a bench in the hall. This was a little hard for me because my husband was in the bathroom at the time and I was still feeling kind of crazy from the birth and feared I would just start crying if anyone said anything. But eventually I decided that I was going to feed him when he needed it, wherever he needed it. If I knew of a room with a nice couch, sure I'd go there, but I would not avoid places because of breastfeeding. So I fed him at a picnic table at Pride, in almost every restaurant we've been in, on park benches, and recently during a wedding ceremony. I've fed him lying down on a blanket in the park too, and in my own yard. He was born May 30th and nursed through some of the hottest weather we've had, no way was I going to cover him up, especially not his head.
So why did I try to cover up once, and why did I fear strangers seeing my breasts, even though I was doing something so natural and good for my baby? And it hit me today. Normally it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public. This is why they need to have separate breastfeeding laws that protect mothers who are feeding their babies. Imagine a world where women could go topless. Men already have that right. I've seen countless men out jogging topless, sitting in parks topless, playing basketball topless, swimming topless of course. We think nothing of it because men's nipples aren't seen as sexual. But for anyone who's had any experience with sex, you know that a man can get just as much pleasure from his nipples as a woman. They are still sexual areas on a man as much as a women. And I can guarantee that some women and men too find the sight of a nicely sculpted bare chest a huge turn on, as much of a turn on as the sight of a pair of bare breasts.
So why the double standard? Why do men get to have their nipples out and women don't, even breastfeeding women get told to cover up? It's arbitrary.
Imagine a world where women could sunbathe topless and swim topless and hang out topless, as men have the privilege of doing? Would it really be that bad? I think breasts would be less sexualized, similar to a man's bare chest, still sexual, but not "OMGPONIES YOU CAN SEE HER TITTIES!!!" I think this would do wonders for society.
How many of us women obsess about how our boobs look? How many men obsess about how their chest looks? My guess is way less men wonder if their chest is perky enough or big enough or too big, or if their nipples are big enough or too big. Or care if one nipple is inverted or a different size. But my god, do women obsess about them, myself included. We get implants and get them reduced and buy push up bras and fuss, fuss, fuss over our boobs, even though the size and shape of them have little effect on their primary function, which is to feed our babies.
If women were allowed to have their boobs out, we might have a society less obsessed with them, and women less obsessed with them, and maybe, just maybe the body image of women in general would increase a bit. Children would not grow up feeling ashamed of their boobs or the sight of others boobs. Nor would people feel awkward around breastfeeding women because they would grow up around bare breasts and breasts that fed babies in public without it being a big deal.
So, what are we waiting for? We are told that women have equal rights; how about the right to have our chests bare wherever men normally do? The right to not feel weird about feeding your baby the best food on the planet on demand. I think breastfeeding rates would soar.
A big thank you to all the women in my life that breastfed in front of me when I was growing up, you probably didn't know it then, but you paved the way for my own successful breastfeeding and the health of my son. I have only now realized how amazing you all were for giving me the opportunity to see something so natural and wonderful, and how so few people do.
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