I'm going to have TWO kids! Pretty sure the ideal spacing of children is close to 18 years. Mothers should get a 9 month break from motherhood when they are pregnant. You mothers who have 3, 4, 5 kids, how did you do it? Did you do it on purpose? Really?? Really???? ;)
I had a tough few days of a few things going wrong. The weather got hot, the dryer died, the toddler peed and pooped on everything, bedtime took multiple hours... I lost it, I felt like I had somehow failed at life. Fittingly, while crying about failing at life, I missed an appointment that will be annoying to reschedule.
Luckily I have some insight into my problems and a pretty supportive husband. I need to chill the fuck out. I pride myself in being a pretty relaxed mother. I actually worry very little (once I got over the post-partum anxiety). But when I do worry, the worry comes in extreme but short durations where all hope is lost forever.
My kid is not easy to potty train. I have had to conclude that after a good 6 months of attempting it during the supposed "ideal window of opportunity." My husband wasn't easy and I wasn't easy, so this is to be expected. We also did everything we could to try to make it easier on us; we used cloth diapers, we did EC, we did a non-reward-system, matter-of-fact potty training that has worked wonders for other kids. And we can tell he's really trying sometimes. He's just going to be slow getting there. And he does use the potty on his own sometimes. He probably does more than a lot of boys his age. I still say I had the least amount of potty trouble when he was 6 months old.
Our work schedules do not allow us to get on an earlier bedtime schedule and the transition away from naps has been slow and hard. This has been really hard because sometimes my kid is a terror and I know it's because he hasn't gotten enough sleep, then I feel guilty for not geting him enough sleep, which is a losing battle because I actually CAN'T make him sleep. He only is able to nap in the car or in his stroller, that's it. Trust me, I've tried MANY times to make it not this way. It wasn't this way until he got to be about 23 months. Then I weaned him because I'm pregnant and it got even worse. It made me declare that I would ever stop nursing our next kid ever. Then all the studies on sleep and brain power... OMG, talk about a daggar through the heart. But, what can we do? Sleep isn't going to get any easier in about 4 months when we have a newborn.
I've heard that in other cultures they are amazed that the Americans always think that everything needs to be fixed. Apparently sometimes people don't constantly think about trying to FIX IT. There is some kind of acceptance of things not going right. I'm going to try to channel that mentality for a while. Afterall, I CAN'T fix all of my kids' problems, actually I can probably only fix a small percentage of them. Acceptance will go a long way. And I have to say that most of the things I have *tried* do not work. I have noticed a very high failure rate for things I have read about and tried with my own kid. And the things that did work usually took much longer than originally thought. This kid is unique and I really wouldn't want him any other way. Probably most parents feel the same way about their own kid.
So, my life is not going to get any easier for a while. I need to try to enjoy the ride, not worry so much about schedules (my kid has never gravitated toward a set schedule anyway, if anything he resists sameness), and chill the fuck out. Kids aren't built in a day, or even a year, or even 5 years. And I think, overall, we are doing really well. Our son is well attached to us both and very healthy. I have no worries that the same won't be true of our daughter.
So, CHILL OUT MOMMY! You don't hear it a lot from people, but you are doing a fine job, alright?
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