The PLAN of Your Birth!!!

So we're at birth plan writing time.  Which is way harder than is sounds, especially when your like me and want to be well informed about EVERY decision there is to make and try to make the best decision.

My latest thought is that birth plans are crap and I'm not going to have one.  They tell you to keep it short, but I have no idea how to do that.  For example:

I really, really, really, don't want to have an epidural.  There are so many restrictions with them, they up your chances of having a C-section to 50%, you can't get out of bed, they tend to make pushing harder.  I just don't want one, which is fine.  But it's not that I will NEVER EVER EVER consider having one.  So I feel a need to say something like, "Andrea does not wish to have an epidural... UNLESS she has exhausted all other coping mechanisms, can't get into a birthing tub, has been laboring for many hours, is no where close to full dilation, can't rest, can't progress, then maybe after you remind her of the benefits and disadvantages of having one, she will agree to it."

I honestly feel like writing, "Ask Andrea's permission before you do anything, thanks.  The end."

And what is the plan anyway?  I've never given birth before.  I could have all the plans in the world and it could all go wrong.  I feel informed, but still hesitant to plan this all.  I don't want people to laugh at my plan and then be proven right when my plan can't be followed.

There are some cut in stone things; we will be encapsulating the placenta.  They can't deny me my placenta, there is no other purpose for it after birth and I definitely have it.  And we won't be circumcising; there's nothing that will change our minds about that.  And a lot of the other stuff we want, they already do the vast majority of the time like skin-to-skin contact after birth, and rooming in, and exclusively breastfeeding; these are not things that the nurses will think is weird and will make a fuss about, so do they still need to go in there?  
And as far as I can tell my nurse midwife unit is very pro eating and moving around during labor, and I'm pretty sure I will qualify to use their birthing tub room.  They have been very hands-off through this whole thing and have not tried to push any ideas into my head.  So I highly doubt anyone will tell me to lay in bed and only give me ice chips, unless I have an epidural.

So the basic plan in my head right now is that Brent and our doula will be with me for the whole thing, I will use natural comfort measures like the birthing ball, massage, TENS unit, aromatherapy, changing positions, relaxing music; I will eat easily digestible things that aren't too bad to throw up (although only about 15% of women do throw up during labor); drink plenty of fluids; when I am able to get into the tub, they will inform me of this, then when I feel ready to get in the tub, I will also use the tub for pain management and may give birth in there if I choose; I want to push when I feel the urge to push with little coaching unless I'm starting to tear; cut the umbilical cord after it has stopped pulsating.   Then as long as baby is fine, I want to hold baby and attempt the first breastfeeding before doing anything else. Oh and no time limits on any stage unless one of us is in distress. 

If at any point the plan is not working, then we can discuss other things.  Sometimes emergency C-sections are needed; I want one if it's needed. 

So it's hard.  It makes me feel good about my choice to birth in a hospital with an open-minded nurse midwife unit.  I can go all natural if I want, but we're in the hospital if something goes wrong.  I do however realize that things often go wrong in a hospital because they do unnecessary things.  So I want to minimize the unnecessary, like artificially breaking the waters, which has been shown to be no better at speeding things up than simply waiting for time to pass (although you can only do correlational studies about it). 

So, I'm going to go in with confidence and an open mind.  I'm also going to stay at home for as long as possible.  The hospital doesn't even want me until my contractions are 4 minutes or less apart, lasting for one minute, for one whole hour.  So, we could have days at home!