I get bad headaches during pregnancy, but only around the fourth month of pregnancy. I got my first migraine at 12 weeks this time, and they've kept coming for the last two weeks. If it's anything like last time, I'll have a few weeks left of this, then the headaches will mysteriously disappear and I'll be almost 100% headache free until birth, then I'll have a mild resurgence, and then by 3-4 months post partum they will disappear again for a long time.
Nothing gets rid of them.
I start with Advil, later add Tylenol, I add caffeine if it isn't too late in the day. I sometimes take more Advil, if it's been long enough, but usually I've given up on pills by that point. I'm stretching my neck, massaging my neck and head, I'm putting cold packs on my head.
I took a nap this morning and it got rid of my headache, but it returned within 20 mins of waking up. My current headache started last night at about 7 pm. It's 3 pm now, and besides the short break from it when I first woke up in the morning and when I woke up from the nap, it's been going steady. I can kind of function. I feel like crap, I've spent a lot of the time laying down. Eventually I have to get up. And I will admit it's not severe, but it's moderate and relentless, and gives me slight nausea and makes me dizzy. It would be hard to go out and enjoy myself.
I've also started to wonder at what point does the amount of Advil and Tylenol and caffeine you consume equivalent to smoking some weed? I've got to have hit the point where marijuana would have been safer, right? I really don't know, and I don't think marijuana has actually been tested much in pregnancy, but I do know it is used for chronic pain, and I've got chronic pain.
If this kid ever asks me why I took pain meds when I was pregnant with them, I'll just have to tell them that the pain was greater and more relentless than my ability to cope with it. Even Tylenol during pregnancy is linked to an increase in allergies. I'm not deluding myself into thinking that anything I'm putting into my body is 100% safe, because nothing is 100% safe.
But I need something or I'm going to be a miserable person and a pretty absent mother for the next month. I've already been a pretty shitacular mother for the last two months due to relentless nausea. And I'm due to creep back in to shitacular land by December and stay there for several months. I'm trying to reduce the shitty time.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Seriously, screw the first trimester.
I'm 12 weeks pregnant today, which means I'm into my second trimester finally. The nausea is down quite a bit, but not totally gone. I don't notice an energy change, but there is hope. The really bad part should be behind me.
Screw that. Good riddance to that awful 1st trimester. For me it goes something like this:
Week 3-5: Cry a lot and not feel like myself.
Week 6: Start to feel like self again and less cry-y.
Week 6-12: Feel hung over for 6 weeks straight.
Of course, historically, what is next to come is:
Week 13-17: Have month-long migraine.
Then...
Week 18: Start leaking pee.
But NOTHING is more awful that nausea. If my pregnancies were unwanted, week 6 is when I would have ended both of them without any thought. Perhaps the nausea is to make me double check that I want another child.
And nothing gets rid of it completely for me. I even took Zofram. Fuck you Zofram, you barely did anything. Right now I feel 100% convinced that this will be our last kid, no way will I put myself through another pregnancy.
Last pregnancy I never really reached a point of liking the pregnancy. It was always in the way and causing me some kind of problem. I did not bond with my fetus very much at all. I just wanted to get it over with. I was hoping for this time to be different, but so far, not so much.
January can't get here fast enough. Even with how hard last post partum was, at least my body wasn't being invaded by an alien creature controlling every aspect of my body. I had my body back and saw good changes happening to it quickly. Plus I could take a shit load of Advil, no problems.
On a good note, I actually do have less symptoms this time, no heartburn yet, and very little bowel trouble. I do feel dizzy this pregnancy, though, which is kind of annoying, that one is new this time around.
And I know I should be grateful for what appears to be another low-risk, uncomplicated pregnancy. But it's hard to do when you feel like crap for a month and a half.
In a couple weeks I'm seeing a neurologist for what will probably be a "please give me narcs" appointment. But maybe he'll have a prophylactic that will work for migraines too. I got my first migraine with the strange aura yesterday. I only get auras during pregnancy and post partum. And only during the fourth month of pregnancy too, so weird. No one can explain that to me either.
I hate the lack of explanation. With how many people have migraines in this country, you'd think they'd know this stuff.
Screw that. Good riddance to that awful 1st trimester. For me it goes something like this:
Week 3-5: Cry a lot and not feel like myself.
Week 6: Start to feel like self again and less cry-y.
Week 6-12: Feel hung over for 6 weeks straight.
Of course, historically, what is next to come is:
Week 13-17: Have month-long migraine.
Then...
Week 18: Start leaking pee.
But NOTHING is more awful that nausea. If my pregnancies were unwanted, week 6 is when I would have ended both of them without any thought. Perhaps the nausea is to make me double check that I want another child.
And nothing gets rid of it completely for me. I even took Zofram. Fuck you Zofram, you barely did anything. Right now I feel 100% convinced that this will be our last kid, no way will I put myself through another pregnancy.
Last pregnancy I never really reached a point of liking the pregnancy. It was always in the way and causing me some kind of problem. I did not bond with my fetus very much at all. I just wanted to get it over with. I was hoping for this time to be different, but so far, not so much.
January can't get here fast enough. Even with how hard last post partum was, at least my body wasn't being invaded by an alien creature controlling every aspect of my body. I had my body back and saw good changes happening to it quickly. Plus I could take a shit load of Advil, no problems.
On a good note, I actually do have less symptoms this time, no heartburn yet, and very little bowel trouble. I do feel dizzy this pregnancy, though, which is kind of annoying, that one is new this time around.
And I know I should be grateful for what appears to be another low-risk, uncomplicated pregnancy. But it's hard to do when you feel like crap for a month and a half.
In a couple weeks I'm seeing a neurologist for what will probably be a "please give me narcs" appointment. But maybe he'll have a prophylactic that will work for migraines too. I got my first migraine with the strange aura yesterday. I only get auras during pregnancy and post partum. And only during the fourth month of pregnancy too, so weird. No one can explain that to me either.
I hate the lack of explanation. With how many people have migraines in this country, you'd think they'd know this stuff.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Gene Recomination Project Number 2
After Cedric was born I swore to everyone that NOTHING would be growing in my uterus for TWO YEARS MINIMUM.
Well I almost made it, about 5 weeks before Cedric turned two we conceived our second pregnancy, on purpose. Something came over me in late March and I told Brent that I NEEDED another baby, NOW. Luckily we have no trouble conceiving babies. We are two for two in months of trying to conceive. We are blessed, or have impeccable timing. We are also healthy and young(ish?), so that helps too.
So far this pregnancy is better than the firs time around. No heartburn yet, last pregnancy I had tons of heartburn in trimester 1 and 2, and then strangely it let up in trimester 3. Nausea is present, but not 24/7 like it was last time. I actually feel my best in the morning and then if I'm going to feel crappy I'll feel crappiest in the afternoon.
Last time I only felt good when I was eating, so I ate... constantly, and gained about 2 pounds per week the nausea was here. This time, when I'm nauseated, I feel like avoiding everything, nothing sounds good, and unfortunately the only things that end up feeling good to eat so far is ginger ale or strangely, soy protein bars, which are also full of sugar. But when I feel good, I can eat anything, so I'll get those veggies and meat and dairy in. This is temporary, but it sucks, but sucks less than last time, so... yay?
I ran the 5K two days after finding out I was pregnant, it didn't seem to slow me down, I went on a huge hike at 6 weeks pregnant, and then spent week 7 mostly laying around, but I did get exercise today. I feel better if I get out and do something, but the fatigue is so bad, that I have little motivation to get out and do anything, but I'm trying, I plan on keeping my exercise dates up as long as I can, so at least twice a week, I should make it out for a run. I run a lot less though, my body just feels different and way more tired and my legs hurt way more.
I gained about 12 pounds the first 1st trimester I had, so my goal is to gain less than 9 pounds this 1st trimester, cutting my weight gain by 25% would be great. I gained 55 pounds last pregnancy and I sure hope I don't do that again. I'm aiming for 40 pounds or less. Unless we have twins or something crazy like that.
I'm starting this pregnancy about 7 pounds lighter, which is great.
I have zero breast changes, except that they never feel full with milk anymore. I'm guessing the lack of change is because I'm already breastfeeding. They don't hurt and they haven't grown at all, it's miraculous to me, I gained 5 inches in my bust last pregnancy, I thought it sucked. I was already starting with Ds!
Breastfeeding does hurt a little, when he first latches on, but not enough to make me stop yet. And, yes, breastfeeding is safe during pregnancy. I'm ambivalent about nursing all the way through and/or tandem nursing later, I have a feeling my son will decide ultimately. I hear about 2/3 of kids will wean during pregnancy. And I have a sneaking suspicion mine would be one of the 1/3 that keeps on trucking all the way through.
Well I almost made it, about 5 weeks before Cedric turned two we conceived our second pregnancy, on purpose. Something came over me in late March and I told Brent that I NEEDED another baby, NOW. Luckily we have no trouble conceiving babies. We are two for two in months of trying to conceive. We are blessed, or have impeccable timing. We are also healthy and young(ish?), so that helps too.
So far this pregnancy is better than the firs time around. No heartburn yet, last pregnancy I had tons of heartburn in trimester 1 and 2, and then strangely it let up in trimester 3. Nausea is present, but not 24/7 like it was last time. I actually feel my best in the morning and then if I'm going to feel crappy I'll feel crappiest in the afternoon.
Last time I only felt good when I was eating, so I ate... constantly, and gained about 2 pounds per week the nausea was here. This time, when I'm nauseated, I feel like avoiding everything, nothing sounds good, and unfortunately the only things that end up feeling good to eat so far is ginger ale or strangely, soy protein bars, which are also full of sugar. But when I feel good, I can eat anything, so I'll get those veggies and meat and dairy in. This is temporary, but it sucks, but sucks less than last time, so... yay?
I ran the 5K two days after finding out I was pregnant, it didn't seem to slow me down, I went on a huge hike at 6 weeks pregnant, and then spent week 7 mostly laying around, but I did get exercise today. I feel better if I get out and do something, but the fatigue is so bad, that I have little motivation to get out and do anything, but I'm trying, I plan on keeping my exercise dates up as long as I can, so at least twice a week, I should make it out for a run. I run a lot less though, my body just feels different and way more tired and my legs hurt way more.
I gained about 12 pounds the first 1st trimester I had, so my goal is to gain less than 9 pounds this 1st trimester, cutting my weight gain by 25% would be great. I gained 55 pounds last pregnancy and I sure hope I don't do that again. I'm aiming for 40 pounds or less. Unless we have twins or something crazy like that.
I'm starting this pregnancy about 7 pounds lighter, which is great.
I have zero breast changes, except that they never feel full with milk anymore. I'm guessing the lack of change is because I'm already breastfeeding. They don't hurt and they haven't grown at all, it's miraculous to me, I gained 5 inches in my bust last pregnancy, I thought it sucked. I was already starting with Ds!
Breastfeeding does hurt a little, when he first latches on, but not enough to make me stop yet. And, yes, breastfeeding is safe during pregnancy. I'm ambivalent about nursing all the way through and/or tandem nursing later, I have a feeling my son will decide ultimately. I hear about 2/3 of kids will wean during pregnancy. And I have a sneaking suspicion mine would be one of the 1/3 that keeps on trucking all the way through.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Breastfeeding goal met!
My little boy turns 2 tomorrow, so it is safe to say that I met my goal of breastfeeding for two years. Also my son shows no signs of slowing down at all.
Someone told me when I was pregnant that nursing a two year old is like twice a day... this is not my reality at all. I constantly have to tell me son that boobies are taking a break or that boobies went to bed. I'm pretty sure he would nurse all day long still if I let him. I'm pretty sure he would give up most solids and be content to continue to live mostly on breast milk for a long time.
It's slowed down a bit and he finally will eat a good amount of solids sometimes. But I'd say most of his calories were still coming from nursing when he was 15 months and then there has been a slow decrease since then.
But, OMG, nurse your toddlers. The reason I have kept it up is because the benefits still well out weigh the negatives. Nursing is an instant cure for pretty much everything. It gets rid of any upset or pain almost immediately. I don't know what you non-nursing mothers of toddlers do. Booby fixes it all in the mind of a toddler. And it's still very relaxing for me. I swear it's the reason my migraines really haven't come back yet.
So I'm really on the fence about stopping. And I know my son's answer is NO. Weaning would be a huge, stressful event for us, and I don't have a good reason to do it yet, so there are no plans. I also had a pretty bad anxiety/depression episode when I simply weaned off the pump at 14 months, so I'm not really looking forward to that.
Plus breast milk is still the top of the top when it comes to good nutrition.
Breastfeeding this second year of life reduced my chance of breast cancer by 50% I believe. So that's just the icing on the cake.
Someone told me when I was pregnant that nursing a two year old is like twice a day... this is not my reality at all. I constantly have to tell me son that boobies are taking a break or that boobies went to bed. I'm pretty sure he would nurse all day long still if I let him. I'm pretty sure he would give up most solids and be content to continue to live mostly on breast milk for a long time.
It's slowed down a bit and he finally will eat a good amount of solids sometimes. But I'd say most of his calories were still coming from nursing when he was 15 months and then there has been a slow decrease since then.
But, OMG, nurse your toddlers. The reason I have kept it up is because the benefits still well out weigh the negatives. Nursing is an instant cure for pretty much everything. It gets rid of any upset or pain almost immediately. I don't know what you non-nursing mothers of toddlers do. Booby fixes it all in the mind of a toddler. And it's still very relaxing for me. I swear it's the reason my migraines really haven't come back yet.
So I'm really on the fence about stopping. And I know my son's answer is NO. Weaning would be a huge, stressful event for us, and I don't have a good reason to do it yet, so there are no plans. I also had a pretty bad anxiety/depression episode when I simply weaned off the pump at 14 months, so I'm not really looking forward to that.
Plus breast milk is still the top of the top when it comes to good nutrition.
Breastfeeding this second year of life reduced my chance of breast cancer by 50% I believe. So that's just the icing on the cake.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Staying Busy Realising How Messed Up I Am!
This thought has consumed my attention for the last few days.
OK, I know I'm not SUPER messed up... for instance I'm not a psychopath, in fact I'm kind of a nice person, usually. I'm not delusional, nor do I have hallucinations. Generally, I'm with it cognitively and get shit done. I'm not fucking up at work or ignoring my child.
But I made one kind of little mistake that annoyed a few other people and even though I apologized and cleaned up my mistake, I can't get over it. I know I WILL get over it, but it's not happening as quickly as I would like. And it's only stiring up EVERYTHING.
Like, for whatever reason, it's making me question everything about myself and about my life.
Mostly it's bad.
The basic thought process is:
I'm a total weirdo who doesn't fit in anywhere.
If I really believe that, I need to get my mental health figured out.
Oh holy crap, that is going to be hard and long.
Everyone else is the weirdo!
Ok, true, but we have to somehow accept their weirdness, your weirdness, and their lack of accepting your weirdness.
Crap that sounds long and hard!
And I might fail!
But the other thing I've realized is that I DO fit in to a few places. And maybe this incident, where I really feel people over-reacted, is a sign that I don't fit in there and it's time to give it up. I felt super judged and unaccepted. I DO NOT feel this all the time.
I remember that when I found my socialist organization in college I felt like I had found MY people. I even told them that I had found MY people. I didn't like everyone of them, but I had found something I belonged to. I felt like I belonged. It's changed a bit since having a kid, but I still consider myself belonging to it. And they, in turn, accepted me.
Anyway, IT'S BOTH! I need to change and I need to get out and try new things more.
Tonight I went to a buddhist meditation, it was excellent. We're going to check out the Unitarian Church near us in a couple weeks. And I have an Al Anon sponsor now. If you google "children of alcoholics", some link will describe me to a T. And I don't even think my alcoholic family was that terrible. I guess that's why I mostly function alright.
I've come along way, but dammit do I have a long way to go.
One day at a time.
Progress, not perfection.
Two steps forward, one step back.
OK, I know I'm not SUPER messed up... for instance I'm not a psychopath, in fact I'm kind of a nice person, usually. I'm not delusional, nor do I have hallucinations. Generally, I'm with it cognitively and get shit done. I'm not fucking up at work or ignoring my child.
But I made one kind of little mistake that annoyed a few other people and even though I apologized and cleaned up my mistake, I can't get over it. I know I WILL get over it, but it's not happening as quickly as I would like. And it's only stiring up EVERYTHING.
Like, for whatever reason, it's making me question everything about myself and about my life.
Mostly it's bad.
The basic thought process is:
I'm a total weirdo who doesn't fit in anywhere.
If I really believe that, I need to get my mental health figured out.
Oh holy crap, that is going to be hard and long.
Everyone else is the weirdo!
Ok, true, but we have to somehow accept their weirdness, your weirdness, and their lack of accepting your weirdness.
Crap that sounds long and hard!
And I might fail!
But the other thing I've realized is that I DO fit in to a few places. And maybe this incident, where I really feel people over-reacted, is a sign that I don't fit in there and it's time to give it up. I felt super judged and unaccepted. I DO NOT feel this all the time.
I remember that when I found my socialist organization in college I felt like I had found MY people. I even told them that I had found MY people. I didn't like everyone of them, but I had found something I belonged to. I felt like I belonged. It's changed a bit since having a kid, but I still consider myself belonging to it. And they, in turn, accepted me.
Anyway, IT'S BOTH! I need to change and I need to get out and try new things more.
Tonight I went to a buddhist meditation, it was excellent. We're going to check out the Unitarian Church near us in a couple weeks. And I have an Al Anon sponsor now. If you google "children of alcoholics", some link will describe me to a T. And I don't even think my alcoholic family was that terrible. I guess that's why I mostly function alright.
I've come along way, but dammit do I have a long way to go.
One day at a time.
Progress, not perfection.
Two steps forward, one step back.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Not Easy Finding a Guardian for the Unthinkable
Something one should do when they have kids is figure out what you would want to happen to them if both their parents died. An unlikely event, but one that should definitely be planned for, because the death of both parents is one thing, the death of both parents with no will stating who the intended guardian is, is a whole other shitty situation to dump on top of kids who have already lost their parents.
It is extremely hard to figure this out.
Probably some of you have easy answers to this question, but we didn't. We couldn't come up with anyone. We had a few possibilities in our head, but they didn't pan out. As in, these people ended up having major problems come up in their life, or ended up not being involved in our lives at all since we had our son.
I could easily name several couples I know who have children who I think would make excellent parents to our son if we both died, but these couples just aren't in our lives enough. I don't want my son going to a stranger. Nor do I think these couples would agree to anything like this.
We don't really have family that fits either. I'm an only child and my husband's brother lives in another state. Other family members are either not ready for a kid, or way past the time of having kids. I would not want to have him go to someone in our family who hasn't cared for a young child in a good 20 years.
Most of our close friends just aren't there in their life yet. And I really wanted a stable couple, who had been together for a while, which is hard to find in the world period.
Plus I wanted a couple with similar views. And one I thought could handle an extreme crisis like raising a kid who has just lost their parents. I thought about this a lot. And I ran people over in my head and would eventually eliminate them. I kept coming up blank. I kept starting back over.
Eventually I decided that maybe I hadn't met them yet, that they would appear in my life someday and I would know... That didn't happen either.
And then, just a few days ago, it hit me. And I figured out which couple I would ask. A couple who had shown more interest in us and our kid than almost anyone. One who has been together for several years. One that shares my views. The only thing that would make them better is if they had a kid of their own already, but I can't wait for perfection.
I in no way anticipate us both dying. The chances are slim, but it's a good excuse to have my child form a bond with two other awesome adults, and that I can go for. It's possible things will change down the road and we'll have to find someone else; because things happen; people move, people break up. But for now I feel this inner peace around this issue. I feel like there is finally a plan for the unthinkable.
Also I try not to actually think about this unthinkable because I become very panicky if I do.
Not ready to announce who the Godparents are yet, but I do hope they will be in our lives for years to come. I feel extremely blessed to know these two, and will not mind spending some extra time with them.
It is extremely hard to figure this out.
Probably some of you have easy answers to this question, but we didn't. We couldn't come up with anyone. We had a few possibilities in our head, but they didn't pan out. As in, these people ended up having major problems come up in their life, or ended up not being involved in our lives at all since we had our son.
I could easily name several couples I know who have children who I think would make excellent parents to our son if we both died, but these couples just aren't in our lives enough. I don't want my son going to a stranger. Nor do I think these couples would agree to anything like this.
We don't really have family that fits either. I'm an only child and my husband's brother lives in another state. Other family members are either not ready for a kid, or way past the time of having kids. I would not want to have him go to someone in our family who hasn't cared for a young child in a good 20 years.
Most of our close friends just aren't there in their life yet. And I really wanted a stable couple, who had been together for a while, which is hard to find in the world period.
Plus I wanted a couple with similar views. And one I thought could handle an extreme crisis like raising a kid who has just lost their parents. I thought about this a lot. And I ran people over in my head and would eventually eliminate them. I kept coming up blank. I kept starting back over.
Eventually I decided that maybe I hadn't met them yet, that they would appear in my life someday and I would know... That didn't happen either.
And then, just a few days ago, it hit me. And I figured out which couple I would ask. A couple who had shown more interest in us and our kid than almost anyone. One who has been together for several years. One that shares my views. The only thing that would make them better is if they had a kid of their own already, but I can't wait for perfection.
I in no way anticipate us both dying. The chances are slim, but it's a good excuse to have my child form a bond with two other awesome adults, and that I can go for. It's possible things will change down the road and we'll have to find someone else; because things happen; people move, people break up. But for now I feel this inner peace around this issue. I feel like there is finally a plan for the unthinkable.
Also I try not to actually think about this unthinkable because I become very panicky if I do.
Not ready to announce who the Godparents are yet, but I do hope they will be in our lives for years to come. I feel extremely blessed to know these two, and will not mind spending some extra time with them.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Potty Training is Tough
We are in the midst of potty training out 20 month old son. I know at least 75% of you are like, "omg! 20 months, way too young!"
Let me explain my journey and it will make more sense.
We started out doing Elimination Communication when he was 4 months old and it went really well, by 6 months of age I was reliably peeing him through the night, meaning we did zero night time diaper changes and he was dry in the morning. Around 9 months of age about 90% of the time he didn't pee all night and that has increased to pretty much 100% percent of the nights by now. He also hasn't peed during naps since his newborn days. I think some of this was him, but I think a huge part of it was that he changed his diaper as soon as it was wet and were very clued in to when he was peeing and pooping and were able to notice stuff like this. He also was down to pooing once a day by 12 months of age.
But also around this time (10-12 months) he started fighting me with the potty. He would arch his back and cry and basically refuse to use it. We went from catching several pees a day to catching 1 pee a week, on a good week. I started reading a lot about EC and a lot about potty training, particularly early potty training. Around 14 months old, he learned to walk well and finally we were consistently catching the morning and after nap pees. I thought we had turned a corner and could keep increasing the EC and just go with that, but it all went wrong.
He became increasingly frustrated when I brought him to the potty in the morning. I KNEW he had to go, after all he hadn't peed in a good 10 hours every morning. But my kid did NOT want to sit on the potty to pee. Crap. Crapcrapcrap!
So I gave up completely, I think it was when he was about 16 months, after about 6 months of not seeing anything really good come of EC, I gave it up completely. But not without reading about potty training. Because I knew what we were going to do was going to look more like potty training than EC. After 18 months, EC is really out and potty training is in. At least don't try to START EC after 18 months, is what the experts were saying.
What I've been reading is that you really have to believe that your child is capable, not ready. They talk way too much about readiness and less about capability.
My son is dry through his nap, dry through the night, poops once a day, understands many things, language is increasing, he knows where things belong... Doggonit! He can do this. We even thought about starting at 18 or 19 months, but put it off until I had two weeks that were pretty open. Which corresponded with a start date of Monday, February 18.
We are doing it without power struggles, without rewards, without threats or punishments. We see this as a kind of HUGE thing he has to learn that will take time. But we see it as a thing he is able to learn at this moment. From reading many stories I'm not convinced this will be easier if we wait. This has to be done. We might as well do it now. And yes, we might end up calling it off and re-diapering him for a month or so and doing it all again. But not on Day 4. I feel like we need to give it these 2 weeks we have, which end with my 30th birthday, and if on March 3rd I am a mess, and Cedric is a mess, and we just aren't seeing the progress, then we will stop, and restart in April sometime.
I'm already wishing we had done this after the snow had melted, but oh well, next kid. This is why we have two of them, right?
Let me explain my journey and it will make more sense.
We started out doing Elimination Communication when he was 4 months old and it went really well, by 6 months of age I was reliably peeing him through the night, meaning we did zero night time diaper changes and he was dry in the morning. Around 9 months of age about 90% of the time he didn't pee all night and that has increased to pretty much 100% percent of the nights by now. He also hasn't peed during naps since his newborn days. I think some of this was him, but I think a huge part of it was that he changed his diaper as soon as it was wet and were very clued in to when he was peeing and pooping and were able to notice stuff like this. He also was down to pooing once a day by 12 months of age.
But also around this time (10-12 months) he started fighting me with the potty. He would arch his back and cry and basically refuse to use it. We went from catching several pees a day to catching 1 pee a week, on a good week. I started reading a lot about EC and a lot about potty training, particularly early potty training. Around 14 months old, he learned to walk well and finally we were consistently catching the morning and after nap pees. I thought we had turned a corner and could keep increasing the EC and just go with that, but it all went wrong.
He became increasingly frustrated when I brought him to the potty in the morning. I KNEW he had to go, after all he hadn't peed in a good 10 hours every morning. But my kid did NOT want to sit on the potty to pee. Crap. Crapcrapcrap!
So I gave up completely, I think it was when he was about 16 months, after about 6 months of not seeing anything really good come of EC, I gave it up completely. But not without reading about potty training. Because I knew what we were going to do was going to look more like potty training than EC. After 18 months, EC is really out and potty training is in. At least don't try to START EC after 18 months, is what the experts were saying.
What I've been reading is that you really have to believe that your child is capable, not ready. They talk way too much about readiness and less about capability.
My son is dry through his nap, dry through the night, poops once a day, understands many things, language is increasing, he knows where things belong... Doggonit! He can do this. We even thought about starting at 18 or 19 months, but put it off until I had two weeks that were pretty open. Which corresponded with a start date of Monday, February 18.
We are doing it without power struggles, without rewards, without threats or punishments. We see this as a kind of HUGE thing he has to learn that will take time. But we see it as a thing he is able to learn at this moment. From reading many stories I'm not convinced this will be easier if we wait. This has to be done. We might as well do it now. And yes, we might end up calling it off and re-diapering him for a month or so and doing it all again. But not on Day 4. I feel like we need to give it these 2 weeks we have, which end with my 30th birthday, and if on March 3rd I am a mess, and Cedric is a mess, and we just aren't seeing the progress, then we will stop, and restart in April sometime.
I'm already wishing we had done this after the snow had melted, but oh well, next kid. This is why we have two of them, right?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)