Something one should do when they have kids is figure out what you would want to happen to them if both their parents died. An unlikely event, but one that should definitely be planned for, because the death of both parents is one thing, the death of both parents with no will stating who the intended guardian is, is a whole other shitty situation to dump on top of kids who have already lost their parents.
It is extremely hard to figure this out.
Probably some of you have easy answers to this question, but we didn't. We couldn't come up with anyone. We had a few possibilities in our head, but they didn't pan out. As in, these people ended up having major problems come up in their life, or ended up not being involved in our lives at all since we had our son.
I could easily name several couples I know who have children who I think would make excellent parents to our son if we both died, but these couples just aren't in our lives enough. I don't want my son going to a stranger. Nor do I think these couples would agree to anything like this.
We don't really have family that fits either. I'm an only child and my husband's brother lives in another state. Other family members are either not ready for a kid, or way past the time of having kids. I would not want to have him go to someone in our family who hasn't cared for a young child in a good 20 years.
Most of our close friends just aren't there in their life yet. And I really wanted a stable couple, who had been together for a while, which is hard to find in the world period.
Plus I wanted a couple with similar views. And one I thought could handle an extreme crisis like raising a kid who has just lost their parents. I thought about this a lot. And I ran people over in my head and would eventually eliminate them. I kept coming up blank. I kept starting back over.
Eventually I decided that maybe I hadn't met them yet, that they would appear in my life someday and I would know... That didn't happen either.
And then, just a few days ago, it hit me. And I figured out which couple I would ask. A couple who had shown more interest in us and our kid than almost anyone. One who has been together for several years. One that shares my views. The only thing that would make them better is if they had a kid of their own already, but I can't wait for perfection.
I in no way anticipate us both dying. The chances are slim, but it's a good excuse to have my child form a bond with two other awesome adults, and that I can go for. It's possible things will change down the road and we'll have to find someone else; because things happen; people move, people break up. But for now I feel this inner peace around this issue. I feel like there is finally a plan for the unthinkable.
Also I try not to actually think about this unthinkable because I become very panicky if I do.
Not ready to announce who the Godparents are yet, but I do hope they will be in our lives for years to come. I feel extremely blessed to know these two, and will not mind spending some extra time with them.
